Ask a Ninja
by Frankenstein's Mom
Summary: have you ever wanted to ask a ninja on naruto something. Well now you can. Just so you know I got the idea after reading Dear Ed By That Anime girl. Yes her name realy is That Anime Girl. I hope you enjoy!
1. test drive

Ask the Ninja

**Naruto**

_Sakura_

Sasuke

Hi! This is Neptune Sea, and I have asked Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke to do an advice column for me.

oh and before i forget I must give credit to that anime girl for giving me almost every idea that i put into this advice colome. Thanx that anime girl!

**Hey I thought you said that this was our advice column!**

Hmm, I don't recall. Watever. This is going to be short because I don't have many questions.

Dear Naruto,

Maybe you can help me. I'm having a little boy trouble. I've been invited to live with my schoolmates ever since my mom died and I'm close friends with both of them. The problem is they cant let other girls get too close to them or-- wait, I shouldn't say. But it is something very strange. The other problem is that they are both... somewhat attractive. I think one of them even has their own fan-club. What can I do?

-"Theresa"

**Dear "Theresa",**

**First things first. Are you talking about a little boy or a little problem about a boy? **Do you know that you really are clueless? _She means it is a problem about some boys. _**Ohhhhh. Ok so just make a deal with them. You know like I'll watch your back if you'll watch mine. It is as simple as that.**

**-Naruto**

Dear Everyone,

My brother is a pain in the butt. Also I wanted to know if Naruto and Sasuke really sing like you do in a music video I saw it on The music video was called Ninja of the Night. So can you? Also what should I do to keep my brother in check? Help me please!

-brother trouble128

_Dear Brother trouble,_

_I think you should just talk it out._** No no no. That is the last thing you should do! You should **do what Sakura told you to do. There is no use in doing something that will get you into trouble. **No! You should stand up for yourself! I think that that is the right thing to do. Oh and about that music video, I've seen it. We... **He can sing. I can't. **Well maybe you just don't want to. **I'll tell you what I want to... _ Break it up! Well brother trouble I hope that this answered your question. See ya soon._

Dear Naruto,

My sister is a pain in the butt! She wrestled me over a stupid lolly-pop. I think that she needs mental help and I need physical help. What should I do?

-sister hater 35

**Dear sister hater,**

**By any chance would you happen to be related to brother trouble? What ever. This is what you have to do. Play pranks, and lots of them. Ok now you're informed on what to do.**

**-Naruto**

Christmas is comming and you'r goose is getting fat.

Please put a penny in the old man's hat.

If you haven't got a penny then a question would be good.

If you haven't got a question then godbless you. :)

Submit the questions for the next colum.


	2. let the insanity begin

Chapter 2 of ask a ninja is about to begin... Now! ps i got the heavy metal thing from who's line is it anywhay.

dear Sauske and Sakura,

My brother Oliver is just like Naruto and I just wanted to know how do you deal with him? Also, on a scale of 1 to 10, how annoying is he?

LillyTrescot

_Dear Lilly,_

_Gee I'm real sorry that oliver is just like Naruto. Well How do we deal with him... uhhh... That's a good question, how do we deal with him?_

_Hey Sauske! How do we deal with Naruto?_ We ignore him. and you don't have to yell so loud I'm sitting right next to you! _ Sorry! Yea we ignore him._ And on a scale of 1-10 Naruto is a 20.

Dear Naruto,

Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooale!

Soccer fanatic!

**Dear Soccer,**

**do you like soccer?**

Dear Naruto,

What is the first thing that comes to mind when I say heavy metal?

crazynarutofan

**Dear Crazy,**

**might be heavy might be light, might be aluminin might be led, is led a meatle I don't know, wo wo wo wo wo wo wo.**

Dear Sauske,

I love food! Look its so shiny! Look at him bounce eddies brother!

matthillfan

Dear matthillfan,

What the...

Dear Sauske,

what is the first thing that comes to mind when I say blue?

crazynarutofan

Deaar crazy,

aren't you asking Naruto that stuff? Fine, bunnie.

So second chapter is up and guess what! in the next chapter you can ask a question to any character you want! if that goes well the i think i will make the rest of the chapter like that. i need more questions.


	3. Cool a fight

New chapter of ask a ninja! Whoo! Victory screech. (Does the sponge bob victory screech)

Now for the first question:

Dear anyone who can help,

My hair is pink, and it wont go back to blond. I can't dye it again! What do I do?

Sauske lover

_Dear Sauske lover,_

_first things first! Sauske is mine and not yours! You hear me?! MINE NOT YOURS! Okay now that I have my point across, I'll be happy to help you with your delema. Uh lets see. You should try..._** Bleaching it. Not only bleaching it but bleaching it in streaks so it looks all punk-rockish and stuff. But...**_ First you should go to a parent if they don't already know. _**No! first she should walk around town showing off her pink hair, going "My hairs pink and yours isn't! ne ne ne ne ne!"**_No Naruto! She shouldn't do that because then she will get teased or beat up or everyone will dye their hair pink and then she won't be different!_ **Who cares if she is different?! **_She might! _**Well maybe she won't Sakura! You never know with this stuff!** _Are you calling me stupid? _** Well if the shoe fits! **_Well now isn't that calling the kettle black! _SHUT UP! _Uh, yea. We all hope that was of some use to you._ Just take bits and pieces of the good ideas. _Yea what Sauske said. We'll see ya. _**Yea bye...stupid. Oh not you, Sakura! **_EXCUSE ME?!_

P.S. Maybe you should try going to a salon where they know what they are doing and ask for their advice and if they can do anything.

Dear naruto,

do you even know a certain blue-haired kunoichi from Team 8 likes you?

P.S. Incase you had too much ramen AGAIN, I'm talking about Hinata. tootles

Suani

**Dear Suani,**

**U-uh uh uh uh... uh uh u-uh uh uh uh. uh uh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? **_Stupid. _** uh uh uh uh uh uh... **Naruto you should probably answer the question. **Yea I- I know. B-but how d-do you answer something like t-that? **Your'e on your own on this one. **What?! Sauske! gulp uh uh uh uh... Hey how is you name pronounced anyway? Oh look another question! I'm so sorry I couldn't answer your question Sa... Sw...Suani or something like that but I have to go.**

Dear Sasuke,

Do you secretly like Sakura?

From?

Dear ?,

Maybe. But then again you will never know. Even if I do or don't like her. I'm not telling everyone my serect love life.** Ha so that means that you have a serect love life! so that means that you do like Sakura!** Next question.

Dear Naruto,

what is the first thing that comes to mind when I say Thanks Giving?

from carzynarutofan

**Dear crazy,**

**Come my chikens of the night! **(N.S: That is also from Who's line. mostly the responces for crazynarutofan... well from naruto anyway are gonna be Who's Line quots. Sasuke's won't be.)

Dear Kakashi,

i think you are a pervert sometimes but others you are sorta cool... then again... ya know i wont finish that sentence. well ya. Oh and do you like my writing? Choose your answer wisly! But be truthful. thanx bi!

from Neptune sea

Dear neptune... wait why did you write your own question in here?

Never mind okay. uhh answer that. and be truthful. Oh god here we go. lets see... sasuke comes up to kakashi and wispers something Huh whats that Sasuke? Oh good idea... Ehem I'm not abliged (sp?) to answer that.

Dear Sakura,

Who do you think is more annoying? Naruto or Ino? I just want to know if a love rivalry is more annoying than pure annoyance.

From Wild Fire007

_Dear Wild Fire007,_

_Well I would think that they are matched at annoyence. I mean Naruto is annoying in his own little way and Ino is just plain old annoying... Wait Ino hasn't always been annoying me like Naruto has. So I guess that makes Naruto more annoying. _

Me: or my inability to type tonight. _ Uhh ya okay moving on. _

Dear Sasuke,

Oh my god is Sasuke really reading this? So he is really reading my own hand written letter to him? Really? Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! That is soooo cool! Sasuke I love you!

From SaSuKe Is So CoOl

Dear SaSuKe Is So CoOl

uhhh...

Me: uhh Sasuke you don't need to answer that... How did that get in there? But you better think of something good to say for later on.  Uhh ya never and I repeat NEVER give me a letter to answer like this again. You hear me Neptune? Ya I hear you. looking though Sasuke's letters just to find all of the 'Sasuke I love you!' letters so she can "not" give them to him laughes evily

Dear Sasuke,

Why are you so cool, awesome, and hot and why is Naruto a stupid idiot?

From Sasuke lover

Dear Sasuke lover,

Hold on a second so I can go kill Neptune for giving me a letter like this right after I told her not to.Glares evily at me

Me: Hey this girl has a good head on her sholder... She called Naruto an idiot.  Maybe so but I just asked you to not give me a letter like the one i just got. Me: Yes be we all don't always get what we want. I want a record deal, to become a famous dancer and for me to accatually be able to type one sentence without deleating this over and over and over. But I'm deffinitly not going to get the last one. Oh and Naruto probably doesn't want another letter from Suani-Chan but now we all know that that isn't going to happen now is it? So anwer the dumb question. Okay I'll answer it. Well it is mearly because Naruto is just laturally like that and in the words of Neptune sea, "it is his way of life." and same thing goes for me. I was just born awesome. Me: Ha ha sure you were. Glares evily at me again.  Me: Ah dives behind random person help me. looks up and sees it is Neji (uhh Neji fans get use to it I'm gonna make fun of alot of the boys that I don't like in all of my stories. That includs Sasuke, Neji, Garra, and some other people that I can't think of right now) Oh not you uhh... looks aroun and see Sakura Sakura help me! dives behind Sakura

_Uhh Naruto while I try to break this fuid up could you end the chapter? _**Sure. Send in your questions and even if they aren't good Neptune will probably put them in anyway! See ya!**


	4. never fear randomnes is here

Hi and welcom back! are you ready for another chapter? well it might be painful for Naruto though. but don't tell him I said that.

Dear Naruto,

What is the first thing that comes to mind when I punch you in the face?

--RoFL because ofU

**Dear RoFL because ofU,**

**Uhh CONCUSSION. **Well duh, thats usually what happens loser. **Shut up Sasuke! **(I cant belive this, I haven't made naruto say this yet) **Shut Up! I will beat you in a fight! BELIVE IT! **(there we go! hey little unuseable info, when I try to do Naruto's voice I always sound like a girl... Well a girl trying to do Naruto's voice. I should have seen that coming. Hey wait Naruto is played by a girl so I guess I'm in the clear. WOO!)

Dear Characters of Naruto,

Sasuke:

1) WHY DON'T YOU JUST MARRY SAKURA ALREADY!

2) -gigglfit- why is your hair the shape of a chicken's butt? -bursts our in laughter-

Sakura:

1) WHY DON'T YOU JUST KISS SASUKE ALREADY?

2) Why is your hair pink?

Naruto:

1) YOU'RE ADORABLE! Now kiss Hinata and get it over with -.-! YOU.ARE.ADORABLE.BUT.DENSE! Why can't you notice hinata WUVS you? K... you do, so KISS HER ALREADY! -evil glint in eyes-

2) Pickles or onions? I dun wike onions... they smell... pickles are juicy, but sour... I'm having a scene here... NOW LEAVE ME! -puts hand dramaticly on forehead-

--D.O.B.E.

(Dark Overlord Bunny of Evil)

Dear D.O.B.E,

1) I am not old enough.

2) Naruto said my hair was shaped like a chiken's butt too but I don't think so. **See told you someone else would say it was. Now give me five bucks. **­-Sasuke gives Naruto five bucks-

_1) Um because well I don't know. It makes me a little uncomfortable to say anything about it. _Oh so you don't like me. _No I never said that. _Then why don't you kiss me?_ Not in public._

_2) Um because it is natural._

**1) Thank you very much for the first part but for the second part havn't you read the last chaper when I went over this with Suani-chan? I would rather not go over it again. I.AM.NOT.DENSE! **You sure about that? **Shut up!**

**2)Uhhh... Pickles they havn't made a sour pickle too sour for me yet! **_Hey Naruto want a pickle? _**Sure **-takes pickle from Sakura, bites it and makes a sour face- **GOD THATS SOUR! **_Haha. _**Ya know what neither. and sure go on and have your little scene.**

Dear Naruto,

Aww, now you're stuttering? Aa, don't worry, you're on my cool and awesome characters list, so I'll spare you. XD Anyway, Naruto how do you survive Sasuke's arrogance? (If he's reading this, tell him if he didn't leave Konoha, things would've been different, ya know) My friends and I believe you can become the next Hokage. So don't give up!

P.S.- To Neptune Sea: I agree, I can't stand Sasuke or Neji sometimes either. And Naruto it's, Su-a-ni, k. Not hard. Bye bye! XD

--Suani

**Dear Suani,**

**SHUT UP! uhh wait you think I'm cool and awesome? Sweet! And also no affence but I do deal with you don't I? Okay but also it is like asking uhh... **it's like asking me how did I go through the whole day yesterday without hitting anyone? espacily my brother. **ya it is just an instinct thing. and tell your friends thank you for beliving in me. I WILL BE HOKAGE! BEEELIVE IT! **Okay shut up you're giving me a headach. and thank you suani I have some one now to back me up on the fact that both of them are annoying. **Thank you SUANI! oh yea i said it right. I'm good I'm good I'm g o o d good.**

Dear Sasuke,

hi sasuke. I just would like to point out that unless you come to my house, you will never kill Itachi. the reason is because... I CAPTURED HIM FOR YOU!and, he's annoying me. (itachi:no, you're annoying me!shut up about the 'sasuke will defeat me' nonesense. i am trying to sleep!)SHUT UP!  
-tazers itachi- well, he is here for you to torture or kill when ever you want. :) oh, and naruto, STOP BEING SO DARN ANNOYING!thanx :)

well, TTFN, Hillarious Tragedy 'luvs to help sasuke' :):(

--Hillarious Tagedy

Dear Hillarious Tragedy,

thank you but you can let him go there really is no point in helping me when I don't want help. (want to know something weird? Everytime i'm typing in Sasuke's font or in one of his letter I always miss-spell stuff) Neptune... You are an idiot. And what's your point. -Sasuke goes to hit me- Wo. you can't hit me im injured. And you sholdn't hit the handiecapted(sp?)! What ever. Oh can you slap itachi for me.** Hey at least I have a personality, and I'm not a lifeles, moodles, personalityles, ice cube like someperson who will remain nameless. -cough cough SASUKE cough cough-** Shut up loser!

This is a threatning letter to Sakura from my friend.

Dear,Sakura(and anyone else who wants to enter the conversation)

Elie: Saskue is so mine so back off or else. Do you even know how many fangirls are so against you. Skye: Then again there are so many that are with her. Elie: Who asked you!  
Skye: Anyway I'm ending this before it goes any farther. Elie: Oh no you're NOT! -tackles skye- Skye: -Pleads for life-

--Elie and Skye

_Dear Elie,_

_Shut up! If there are fan girls that want sasuke for themselfs, then that means that they don't like anyone who likes sasuke so that means that there are people agenst you too. And I'll just have you know that the world doesn't revolve around boys! _Especaly Lifeles, moodles, personalitlyles, ice cubes who's hair is shaped like a chikens butt! Sorry I had to let that out. _Okay.. -inches away from neptune- And thank you Skye because I just happen to know two people who are actually with me. Neptune and Dragon of Venus. _(my sis) _So ha and also Skye are you one of thoes that are with me?_

Dear Everyone,

My little sister is such a pain. Sometimes I wish that she would just go in a hole and die! She is such a little brat she cries about every thing. I just want to kick her a. What should I do?

-- Little Miss.Thang

**Dear Little Miss. Thang,**

**Maybe do what Neptune does. She glared at her little brother and then showed him what happens when he pushes her too far past the glare and now he stops after the glare. And if that doesn't work then...** try cracking you knuckles in an evil maner. **Sasuke I never thought I would say this to you but that is a great idea.. Chiken's butt for hair. **-Sasuke glares at Naruto- -Naruto shreeks like a little girl- And my point is proven.

DearEveryone,  
What do you think of Kiba?  
I like him alot and if you say anything bad about him I'll hit you HARD!

--Wolf-demon13

_**Dear Wolf-demon 13,**_

**_Ya Kiba's cool!_** (they are only saying that because they know what happens when someone writes like that from when I played a prank on someone) Hey Wolf-demon, I think Kiba is pritty cool and I know that Naruto thinks the same way. And if there is anyone who didn't mean what they just said it was Sasuke so please hit im hard!

Dear Everyone,  
What is your favorite color,What is your favorite weapon,and Woudl you sacrafice yourself to save your teammates?Please answere!!  
Bye  
p.s.  
NARUTO ROCKS!  
--Kari

_Dear Kari,_

_My favorite color is pink, my favorite weapon is my mind, and yes, I guess even Naruto.  
_My favorite color is onxy, my favorite weapon is a tie between a windmill shuriken and my sharingun and yes because it is they right thing for a ninja to do. Even if he or she doesn't like one of their team mates.  
**Ha ha Sasuke. My favorite color is orange, my favorite weapon is a shuriken and I would sacrafice myself for Sakura and Kakashi- sensi. Sasuke doesn't need sacraficing. **I'm going to take that as a complament.  
My turn! Okay my favorite color is Navy blue, purple or green, my favorite weapon is my fighting... wait I don't need weapons, what ever and I don't have team mates so I don't need to sacrafice myself for them. LOOPHOLE! (sorry i have this thing with finding loopholes.)

well keep sending in your questions and we'll keep answering them. ttyl


	5. Badger Badger Badger Badger Mushroom!

Chaper five! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Okay! First question!

Here's my question(s): To Naruto: what is the first thing that comes to mind when I dance around in a chicken suit and shout "Sasukie, come out come out where ever yu are, I have a tastey fruit roll-up for youo!" ?

To Sasuke: Is yur hair really natural? Or do you gel it? Or...is it like flat and long and --giggle-- pretty when it's wet and then it flips up when it's dry?

To Sakura: Are you aware that yur name reminds me of Saurkraut? (pickled cabbage)Good!

Signed Chikin-ass-hair Uchiha (in other words my name.) or yu can call me..um...(thinks creatively)...BelloftheMind

**Dear Chikin-ass-hair-Uchiha or BelloftheMind or what ever your name is,  
I think that your crazy. Yes I, Naruto Uzumaki, think you are crazy!**  
Yea, uhh by that I would get a little disturbed. And I wouldn't gel my hair everyday since I could talk now would I... Now where would you get that insane idea... No it is really spikey like this.**Yea it naturally lookes like a chicken's ass!**  
_I'm not envovled in this fight!_ Me neither! (lol to who ever knows what that means) _And to answer my question... Well I do now and jsut do me a favor and don't tell Ino that. thanks!_

Questions:  
Naruto: Why the orange jumpsuit? I don't mean any offense, I'm just wondering why.  
Sakura: Since you can kick butt and control your chakra well and everything, why don't you learn some really cool jutsu so people can finally recognize YOUR smarts and talent and not just "the last uchiha and the kyuubi chakra boy"?  
Sasuke: I'm not saying you have to marry Sakura. But why don't you give her a chance on a date already? She's trying so hard (and I don't just mean trying to get you to date her either).  
Signed Yellowfur

**Dear Yellowfur,  
Well...** Why do you always answer the questions for everyone first. **Becasue if you haven't noticed yet the show is called Naruto. :P Also I'm asked first so I should get to answer first. Right Neptune sea!?** Yea yea sure cherry pie. (Lol again to the people who know what that means) **So as I was saying, orange makes me look good. Don't you think?** _No._ **I didn't ask you! Right Neptune Sea!?** Yea badger! **This time, I'm not going to ask.  
**_That is a really good idea. And thank you for not being one of thoes mean reviewers that says something like 'Oh sakura your forehead is too big and sasuke will never like you' I truly appreciate it.  
_Don't get involved or trust me... there will be conciquences.

HI! -total spazz moment-

ok, um, anyway, i kept itachi cuz i like torturing that hrt my sasuke, nbut i am not a fangirl of you sasuke :)... ok, i am, but i am not that crazy like my friend. i had to restrain her from grabbing on to you in konoha a while ago. so thank me :). anyway, i am torturing itachi by putting pictures of sasuke ALL over the walls. ITS DRIVING HIM NUTS! (itachi: GET ME OUTTA THIS DAMN FREAKING ROOM!) BAD ITACHI!! -tazers itachi- anyway, um, i also have lost all respect for him, not that i had much to begin with, but he a ALOT more then orochimaru does, thats for sure! i will tell you the reason next time :).

oh, one more thing, sasuke, which would you rather do? kiss me or die? OR get married to my rabid fangirl friend?

pick one or i shall totally help itachi kill you. I AM REALLY GOOD WITH A BLOW TORCH!

luv (and kisses for sasuke) , HILLARIOUS TRAGEDY :):(

Dear Hillarious Tragedy,  
Uhh thank you? and I want to know why you have more respect for itachi than orochimaru. And, no I will not pick one. Use a blow torch all you want. _ Sasuke is mine! Did I say that out loud? shrinks up under desk Please forget that._ shrugs

hi nartuo - kun it renetta & raven did you know renetta & sasuke had same birth month renetta is july 21 , she is hype , ramen -love , very cute , and werid sometime she do sasuke but , who heck older renetta or sasuke!  
renetta : I'm older then sasuke- baka i'm 13 now ha ha sasuke renetta do lil dance you better beveil it nartuo !  
ineer white fox kakyo ; i don't know you renetta  
renetta ; shut up baka fox oh that was kakyo my ten tail fox demon she very annoyed oh good luck nartuo be the next hokage at your village and bird head i really dis - like you sasuke  
raven; yay renetta told sasuke off :)  
renetta ; well , bird head is werid my favorite color is pink & orange i love ramen !  
raven: --' sasuke i am deal with your twin she annoy make her stop plesea !!  
renetta ; remen remen i love remen  
raven: --' STOP THE STUPID REMEN SONG NOW RENETTA ! Raven snack renetta on the head with 20 size mallelt   
renetta :XX  
raven : well sasuke i snack renetta well sleep right now so see ya  
your friend raven & twin sis renetta .  
signed raven and what left of renetta

**Dear Raven and Renetta,  
Yea all I got out of that was hokage, Renetta's older than Sasuke and tha Renetta loves ramen. Oh and I also got that Raven hit Renetta in the head with a size 20 mallet. Hey I have a question for who ever wrote this review were you litening to that Badger song?** I got nothing out of that. _Neither did I._ **Well then you all need to be more like me!** _NO!_ **shirnks down bleow desk Okay.**

Nep go with the animely flow

**_What the hell was that?_** My bffl. I'll handle this. Stop going on my computer and sending random reviews to my stories on my name. It makes you look wierder and randomer-er-er...er than you already are.  
Er!

Dear Everyone  
What do you of Haku? I want indavual anwsers from each of you rememeber I'll hit you HARD  
signed Wolf-demon 13

Dear Wolf-demon,  
Haku was pritty cool. He didn't purposly try to kill us untill we sort of provolked it... right? **_shugs_** Hey I never saw that episoid and frankly I'm used to getting hit hard so I don't really care... it's your advice colums, you answer the questions. **I liked Haku! He was really nice to me... or she was really nice to me... I know he/she said that he/she was a boy but he/she didn't look like a boy. That still confuses me. Oh yea also I didn't want him/her to die. Your turn Sakura!** _Well truthfully I don't really know who Haku is, but if he was nice to Naruto, then I guess that he is a good person. So really Neptune is the only one getting hit._ Nope the question wasn't direced twords me! It says 'Dear EVERYONE'. Oh well.

Dear, Everyone

Skye:As long as you don't date Naruto I'm with you. Elie:I.Hate.You. Skye:I know. Oh and before I forget. Tard coughEliecough got pink, blonde & nutmage(sp?) in her hair to try and beat Sakura. And now everone says she should get it redone what should she do? Elie: I love it and it is not pink its red! Skye:Pink! Elie:Red! Like I would get pink like that dobe! Skye: Whatever you say. Obsessed Fangirl. Elie:I am Not Obsessed -hides Sasuke plushie- Skye:Hey! What's that -points to plushie- Elie: N-n-nothing! Stay Away

Elie&Skye  
P.s. Skye:Help me!  
P.s.s Elie:She doesn't need help! She Lies!

_Dear Elie and Skye,  
Yea now I have two people in one chapter with me! and only one agenst me! And I don't care if Elie tries to out do me. She will never look like me. Oh and that Sasuke plushie thing is jsut wierd Elie. throws Sasuke plushie under desk_ Hey what's this. Bends down to pick up the strange object( the plushie) that Sakura jsut threw under the desk. Comes back up with usual blank expression. Okay I'm just going to leave it at, I'm not gonna ask.

mkay...Like...

Is it true that you and Naruto are gay ?  
Is it true that Kakashi and Iruka are gay?  
Is it true that Itachi is gay with kisame?  
Will Naruto ever be smarT?  
Sasuke, I notice those glances you give to naruto u like him?  
Sasuke did ya go to the molester?  
Sakura is it true you like Lee?  
How Will your Child Turn out?  
Sasuke who do u like better out of sakura and naruto?

Do you look around in your bathrooms for webcams?  
Do you have stalkers?  
If you were gay sasuke & naruto,who would be on top?  
Same question for Iruka and Kakashi,Itachi and Kisame,Ino and Sakura.  
Itachi whats your favorite colour?  
Why you kill you clan?  
Why is Sai Gay?  
Thats all for now :D

**_Eye twich-fest_ I'm not twich going twich to ask twich twichity twich twich** _Ew!_ I'd rather not think about the stuff that you just asked all of us. Itachi: My favorite color is dark lavender! see that's what I painted my nails. looks at Itachi Aren't you supposed to be evil and at Hillarious Tragedy's house being toucherd with a blow tourch? Itach:Oh yea well biya! **_Biya?_**

Dear Naruto and Sasuke,

If you two fought again, Naruto,you, using kage bunshin, each holding a rasengan in his hands (yeah, talk about a lot of chakra loss),plus Kyubi chakra (explains amount of chakra), and Sasuke,you, using Chidori at it's highest, with the curse seal, plus sharingan, who do you think would win?

Sakura, would you do anything to stop this or watch in fright?

Kakashi, who do YOU think will win?

--Suani

(P.S.- Do you all like pocky? Yes, sry that was out of the blue. Bye!)

Dear Suani,  
First off I had to say that because Naruto doesn't want to say your name because he thinks he will get it wrong. Okay back to your question. **I would! No you wouldn't! I would! No! I WOULD WIIIIIN!** (Yes Sasuke yelled that with Naruto) _Okay I'm gonna stop it now so it doesn't get out of hand but I would atleast like to try to stop the fight explained in your question Suani._ Kakashi: I wouldn't. I would watch and see who's more powerful. If it gets to the point when one of them is going to die then yea I would stop it. But other wise, nah!  
(P.S. to suani-chan, I don't know what pocky is so I can't really answer that for you. Sorry)

YAY CHIKIN BUTT!!  
Signed Chickin-ass-hiar-Uchiha

Dear Chickin-ass-hair-Uchiha,  
Do you guys mind if I answer this question? **Go a head.** By all means. _Fine by me._ Good. That was random. But thanks for the random though. I always love randomness that isn't made by me:::::)))))))... ya I'm done now.

Well that about sums up chapter five! Oh and if any of my writing seems messed up, blame the badger badger badger mushroom mushroom song! Ya I was listening to it while I was writing the whole chapter!!!!! -


	6. Coffee, spazes, and Sassy Chan!

Another chapter of ask a ninja!!!!!

This chapter is special becasue now this story has been up officaly for about one whole year!!!! YAAAAY!!!!

Now don't forget. In like the second chapter, or whenever, I said that you could ask a question to any one, I ment any one! And I know I'm not really up to date on some things but if I don't know the character trust me, I'll find out who they are and you will get your answer! Okay. just wanted to make myself clear on that.

And thank you cyberkid for getting that without me saying what I just did.

Enjoy the randomness of the sixth chapter of Ask A Ninja! (And if randomness isn't a word, it is now)

Dear Itachi, Sasuke, Gaara, Shikamaru, Naruto, Neji, and Kakashi,

Do all of you or one of you know Kagome Higurashi? If no then damn. And does the fanfictions true that you guys LOVE Kagome Higurashi-sama, dono? Pls. answer truthfully thank you if you do.

From:J.G.C.

Inu-yasha: "Gr..."

Kouga:"Back off from my woman"

**Dear J.G.C.**

**I do!** -hits Naruto on the head- No you don't looser.** Well maybe I do!**

Gaara: Why am I here I don't know her.

Neji: Same for me. If I was destined to know this Kagome Higurashi, then I probably would have met her by now.

Shikamaru: What a drag. I don't even want to me her right now.

**Shikamaru if you just answer the stupid question, then you can leave.**

Shikamaru: Fine. No I don't know her. And I have a question for this Kouga person. If she is your woman, why would I love her? Can I leave now?

Me: Go ahead. Curl up into the courner and take a nap for all I care.

Kakashi: No I don't know her but if two boys are mad that you're asking this question, then maybe she is the type of girl I would like to meet.

**Kakashi-sensei, she's 15. -pats Kakashi's shoulder- Let it go. Let it go.** I don't know her and if I did I wouldn't love her because love makes you weak. Wait Naruto how do you know how old she is? **I told you I know her. And if you know I'm right then that means you know her tououou. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight?** Um. Uh. Maybe I do. Maybe I don't. **oO You're starting to sound like me. NEXT QUESTION!!!**

Dear Kakashi,

How do you breathe with your mask always covering not only your mouth, but your nose too? It confuses me, and personally, I'm concerned that you might just randomly croak one day in the middle of an episode.

Signed,

Dragon of Venus (aka the authoress' sister)

Dear Dragon,

Me: Be wize about your answer.

Kakashi: There's no 'z' in wise.

Me: Shut up and answer the question damnit!

Kakashi: -gulp- Well Dragon of Venus, you see my mask is porous. And porous means...

Me: She's not a five-year-old!!!! She knows what porous means!!!!

Kakashi: Okay then. And further more I'm only a cartoon character, so I can do anything my creator wants me to do. Be it wear a mask that covers most of my face or croak randomly in the middle of an episode.

Me: And guess what sis... RANDOM IS GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!! Random is what I tried base most of my answers off of damn it! Next question.

Here's my guestion:

Dear Naruto,

have you ever ran with scissors and survived? cuz i have! and do you drink coffee cuz you act like it sometimes. and tell sasuke to cheer up.

-- hc

**Dear hc,**

**I'm sorry but by guestion, you mean question right. Well whatever I think you do so I'll go with that. And well no I haven't ran with scissors, but I can top it. Have you ever ran with kuni knives and survived? Have you ever put kuni knive in your mouth?**

Me: Have you ever gotten swimer's ear?

**Is that why you have cotton in your ear?**

Me: Unfortunitly yes.

**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnd no I don't drink coffee, does it really seem like I drink coffee sometimes, hm I never thought that it seemed that way, maybe I should start drinking coffee, is coffee good?** -hold up a cup of black coffee- I don't know. Why don't you try some? **Fine I will. -take the cup of coffee- Oh and by the way Sasuke. hc says cheer up. But I don't want to say just cheer up, I want to say this: -puts hand on Sasuke's right shoulder- Cheer up emu kid!** -punches Naruto- It's emo dumbass. An emu is an animal that lookes like a bird. **Oh well -drinks coffee- oO -spits out coffee- Ewwwwww I hate coffee that is the grosses thing I've ever tasted, how do people drink that on a daily basis?!!! That tasts like shit!!! **How do you know what shit tasts like? **Shut up wise ass!!!**

I am lucky tachi-chan is letting me call him tachi-chan! but then he got captured by my friend, and she is evil. I bet, right now, she is attemting to make him wear a frilly pink dress with many bows. pity your brother sassy-chan, ( I LUV THE NICKNAME!) he might be emotionally scarred for life...

in other news... my sane friend keeps telling me that I am a fan of yaoi but I AM NOT!!

friend: yes you are.

NO WAY!!

friend: then why do you have more then half of your stories as yaoi?

friend: thats what i thought.

dammit! -tazers friend- die!!

kay, now for my question :

1. What animals would you guys be? I imagin sasuke as a black kitty and sakura as a bunny... AN ADORABUL BUNNY!! and then i see naruto as a fox... go figure.

2. who is everyones role model and if you say orochimaru sassy, i will give your fangirls house keys and i will give them your phone # and i will tell them where you are every second of the day! lets just say, i have my sources -points at itachi who happens to be here hiding from evil friend-

DID YOU KNOW HE HAS BEEN STALKING YOU?

itachi: ITS A SECRET DAMMIT!

not anymore...

oh if you guys know where kakashi is, i need to capture him. my friend loves him and i have a "bishie capturing" buisness, where i capture bishies and lease them to crazed fangirls or fanboys for a month! its a booming buisness!

Well, toodles sassy-chan, sakura, and naruto!

-- hillarious tragedy

Dear Hillarious Tragedy,

**Yay!!! hey Sakura, isn't there a question from her in like every chapter?** _Uhh there might be._ **Yeah and they are always soooo long!!! Poor neptune. she retypes every review. Oh hey what does yaoi mean?** _ You don't want to know._ **Okay. Well, in my opinion...** Since when do you even have an opinion? **Since I started to answer question in this asvice colom. Don't you need an opinion to give advice.** _Sasuke, I'd hate to say it and I'd really hate to say it, but I think Naruto has a point._ Yeah fine whatever. **So as I was saying... In my opinion, I think you got us all pegged. -giggle giggle-** _ Yeah I agree. -giggle giggle-_ I'm not a black kitty. I'm a jaguar. And I'm also not Sassy-chan. My name is Sasuke. **Yeah whatever you say... Sassy-chan. **I'm Sasuke! **Sassy-chan! **Sasuke! **Sasuke!** Sassy-chan!** Fine have it your way Sassy-chan!** Fine I will. Thank you. _**-giggle giggle-**_ HEY WAIT! _**-burst out laughing their butts off-**_ -laughing her own butt off- Oh my god Sasuke that is the oldest trick in the book and you fell for it. Or should I say Sassy-chan! Shut up!

**Well my role modles are the third and fourth hokages. I want to be just as strong as them!** _I would have to say Lady Tsunade is my role modle._ No comment. **Your role model is Orochimaru! Isn't it!?** I said no comment... oh and Kakashi-sensei is under the desk. Next question.

Dear everyone,

Naruto do you know Hinata like you. You should go out with her.

Wolf-demon13

**Dear Wolf-demon13,**

**I went over this with one of neptune's first reviewers, Suani. -sigh- fine I'll tell you what I told her. U-uh uh uh uh... uh uh u-uh uh uh uh. uh uh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?** _ Are we going through this again. Just ask the poor girl out sometime._ **Fine I will. -walks up to Hinata- hey Hinata do you want to go get some ramen sometime with me? -bluses a little-**

Hinata: -faints-

**-turns around to see me with a camera- Hey neptune, why do you have a...** -takes a picture- Yes he is still blushing. Now I have proof to Suani-chan that you like Hinata!!!!!!

Hey Suani-chan!! -runs off to find Suani-chan-

Kay Kay, questions for this time: Sasuke, honestly, who do you thing you're fooliong?? No real person would actually be able to hate such a kawaii blondie!! (looks at Naruto) Also, Sassy-chan, do you like Straberry or Chocolate icecream better? or maybe run raisin?

To Sakura: Your hair is weird and yes sorry I told INo about the Saurkarut thin. Ehhehheh...

To Naruto:...I'm going to ignore you.

To Kakashi: Sque! I love you I love you I love you! (Huggles) Kay now, the eal question: Are a pedophile? Cus of you sticking your fingers up Naruto's butt. (think back to Nartuo vol.1)

Kay kay that's all for now!! Laters:P

Dear Hyde n Psyc,

Okay I want to know who came up witht he frekin' Sassy-chan!! and I want to know NOW!

Me: geeze Sasuke, calm down. What are you pmsing?

-glares at me evily AGAIN!-

Me: What are we going back to chapter three?! Just answer the flippin question! Chocloate. _ My hair is natural. But I sware if Ino starts to bug me about that Saurkraut remark I will flip! So if you have anything stupid about Ino please tell me._ **Why don't I get a question?** Why should you ever get a question? **Shut up! You're so hurtful! -runs off crying-** _-look at me-_

Me: What?

_It's your turn._

Me: Fine. I'll go console him. -walks off to Naruto-

Kakashi: While we're on the topic of the third chapter, I'm going to use something that Sasuke told me in the third chapter. Ahem. I'm not abliged to answer that.

Me: That means yes.

Kakashi: -glares at me evily-

Me: What is it, a sharingun thing?

-Itachi walks up next to Kakashi and glares at me evily... yeah I know it's not saying much but hey just roll with it.-

Me: Odviously yes.

Itachiiiiiiiiii! I'm going to kill you and gain reveng for you killing the uchiha clan!!!

Itachi: And then?

What?

Itachi: And then?

­-sigh- Just... Just go back to Hillarious Tragedy.

Me: Oh buy the way if you guys are confused about who Hyde n Psyc is I'll give you a hint. Sasuke's hair and in the last chapter that person write and I quote "YAY CHIKIN BUTT!!"

I'll give you a greak and not ask questions. but a comment for Sasuke: Yeah, I bet there would be, Emo kid. Naruto can totally whoop you.

--Yellowfur

**Dear Yellowfur,**

**Oh yeah! Thank you.** -opens his mouth- **Yes I know it's emO with an 'o' and not emu with a 'u'.** I have a question for you Yellowfur, you bet there will be what?

P.s. Sasuke isn't the only one confused about that statment.

Dear Sasuke and Sakura,

Sasuke, do you think that if you were still at Konoha, you'd have still gotten strong enough to defeat your brother?

Sakura, one of my friends wanted me to ask you this,

since you are Tsunade's apprentice and all, can you hold your liquor well?

--Suani

P.S We would like to say GOOD LUCK to you all for Naruto Shippuden! Bye

Dear Suani,

No. _Uhh I'm not going to ask._ **-tackles me- give me the camera!** No! Hey Suani look at the photo I got of naruto blushing when he asked Hinata to go get some ramen with him!

Well don't forget! Send in your questions as reviews for the fic or email them to me! See you next chapter! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a huge chocolate craving, I have cotten in my right ear, my left leg in numb, and I have to pee real bad!!!


	7. ferret ferret ferret MONGOOSE!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Over a year this thing has been going strong! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Chapter seven! Already!

Sasuke said there would be consequences if I got involved in something. And I was like "Yeah I bet there will be" sarcastically.

--Yellowfur

Dear Yellowfur,

Thank you for clearing that up.

Yeah thanx!

dear sasuke:

Hey wats up? i was wondering last week my frined Paine dissapeared along with my cuz yuna we went to kohona last time a mashina made us vanish but i was wondering if you have seen them...oh and also ur kinda cool, but HAVE NO FEER NOOBS!! im not a fan girl...bleh! i really REALLY dont like preps... and sakura i think you would be such a better character if you were a tomboy! like me! nice talking to all (and if you haven't noticed im being lame by roll playing w/ my screen name)

rikku

RIKKU:-cralls into corner- at night the sporks laugh at me

Dear rikku,

No I haven't seen your friend and your "cuz". And thank you for not being another rechid fan girl. **Hey why don't you be one of my fangirls?!** Wow. **"Wow" what?** The number of your fangirls is so pathedic you have to ask someone to be your fangirl. **OMG!!!!** What now! **There was no question from crazynarutofan in the last chapter!** -looks back at the last chapter- Wow. You're right Naruto. There wasn't. Wait sporks laugh at you? o.O I'm not going to ask about that one.

Wow. I've been quoted!! Sorry about all the previous grammar stuffs... you know, misspelling and all that.

New question!

Sasuke: Mongoose for ferret? I MUST KNOW!! Also, if you dyed your hair, what color? You aren't allowed to say black, blue, green, or red. They're the most common.

Sakura: Mongoose or ferret? I MUST KNOW!! Also, would you rather shave your head in the Winter and not wear a hat, or ware three super-hot wigs in the Summer (as well as your hair)? My 'frined' wanted to know.

Naruto: I'm not going to ask you the mongoose/ferret question, because you answer is obviously ferret. Vicious, cute, and tiny teeth, as well as being nocturnal. The perfect ninja! And that 'bandit mask'...hehe. Well, all rambling aside, you get Sakura's question about the hair thing, and a new question just for you!

Why orange? Several of my frineds agree to this, and we solely believe that you would look better in blue. MUCH better than SASUKE does. :D

Kakashi: As the parent figure in the group, you have to make choices. if the four of you were iceskating and suddenly Sassy-chan slipped and broke his anke, would you

a) help him up,

b)get Sakura and Naruto to help him up,

c)get Naruto to pick him up all by himslef,

d)say that any ninja should be able to withstand a substantial anount of pain and make him get up by himself,

or e) leave him there with a slab of raw meat for food and hope that he's better by morning? (assume that you're in the middle of a big forest.)

Alright that's all for now! BUT!! Before I let you go, a group question:

Hot dog or donut? (sorry, it's stupid and childish, but we all want to know! If you don't get it, ask me...)

Ino has a squirrel living in her hair.

--Hyde n Psyc

Dear Hyde n Psyc,

Mongoose. Because I just show Naruto a picture of one and it scared the crap out of him. And purple. **Really!?** Hell no. But I couldn't think of any other color. **-walks over to Sasuke and wispers in his ear-** o.O Brown. And if you don't like that answer then take it up with Naruto because he is the one who just pointed out that you didn't mention it in your list of most common colors. And what the hell is with the frekin' Sassy-chan?!?!?! _I would choose a ferrit. It is sooo much cuter than a mongoose and I could train it to bite Naruto and the other people that I don't like._ **Why was my name the only one you mentioned?** _Because you're at the top of the list._ **T T -runs off and curls up under my chair and knocks it over-** Hey Naruto! What the hell is your problem! _Back to my other question, Ummmmm..._ **Sakura, she didn't define what kind of hot!** It's emplied! **damn.** _Well then tell your 'friend' Hyde n Psyc, the three wigs in the summer because I could always stand infront of an air conditioner. )_ **Well I wouldn't do the summer one, I would do the winter one because I'm a ninja and I could endour anything. And also, it would grow back. And if I go bald when I'm older I would have to get used to it. Wouldn't I? Oh and about the other question hold on I'll be right back! -grabs a bag and runs into a closet-**

Five minutes later

**-comes out of said closet in an inverse jumpsuit. you know where the orange was is blue and where the blue was is now orange.- Well what do you think? Oh and Sassy-chan I do so look better than you.** NO YOU DON'T! AND I'M NOT SASSY-CHAN! I'M SASUKE! YOU HEAR ME HYDE n PSYC?! I'M SASUKE!

Kakashi: Well I would have to say D then if he can't get himself up then i guess either B or C. And for our group question, I would say hot dog. **Donut!** _Neptune's sister said that I seemed more like an ice-cream person, so I'm gonna go with that, but I guess the colsest thing to that would be a donut._ Um do I really have to answer this?

Me: -glares evily at him-

Okay then umm hot dog.

Me: I asked my sister if Naruto was a donut person and she said "He is a donut so ya." and I just laughed so hard.

_Yeah Ino pig has a squirrel in her hair!_

Hi to all of you!!

m my question is... sasuke, if you like chocolate... why don't you buy a chocolate cake and you get sweet?

sakura, eem... your eye's color are pretty

and naruto, you are REALLY sexy in shippuden (blush)

give a kiss for kakashi for mi please x)

kS

SORRY if it is a error in my grammar is because im mexican D

and wath i reall want to day to sasuke was

si te guesta tanto el chocolate... porke no te compras un pastel de chocolate y te endulzas la vida jejjejee kissesandhugs

Dear kS,

Okay i don't get the english part but... -reads last part- wait wat?

-rolling on floor laughing- Why are you laughing? The last part. I don't get the last part. But I do! Why do you anyway? I mean you're not mexican or spanish at all. Aren't you like cajin french, italian, polish, and some other stuff that sounds like australian? Yup. Then why do you get it? I take spanish and my good-for-nothing teacher actually came in handy for once... Wow. So what does it say? I'm not telling. -slaps his face- Fine. I refuse do do that because I don't want to get sweet. I like the way I am. Si tu no quieres modificar. Pero nosotros queremos tu modificar. Sorry if there are any mistakes, I don't know some of thoes words. What? Exactly! _Yeaaaaaaah. Well thank you for the compliment._ **Oh yeah! In Shippuden I'm REALLY sexy and Sasuke's not!** He also can't speek spanish. _**Neither can we.**_ Y su punta es? **What?** Exactly!

Dear Naruto,

1. Does the large amount of salt in Ramen make you dehydrated?

2. Do you ever feel the urge to hug Sasuke to make him happy?

3. If not, can I? 'cause his emo-ness makes me want to puke...

-glares- and I might sneak a chance to smooth out the back of his hair...

4. If not again, may I hug you because you meake me all warm and happy?

With love to Sakura and You,

Sparkableeder

PS: here's some Zoloft for Sasgay...

**Dear Spakableeder,**

**1. Sometimes.**

**2. -glances at Sasuke- Maybe.**

**3. Be my guest. Although I'm not responcible for anything Sakura does to you.**

**4. Be my guest.**

5. Why would I need Zoloft? AND I'M NOT GAY!

Just an emotard question for Sasuke. You know Vincent Valentine? Bet he's emo-er than you. Sakura seriously you should meed the guy he's super polite and better than Sasuke and you could meet his girlfriends Yuffie! Oh and Sasuke another question cuz your fun to laugh at what's with the emo camo 24/7?

Naruto have you ever considered taht with the majority of viewers rising every day for your TV show that you may in facct in the futuer have more fan girl than Sasuke?

Sakura you should consider my offer! Oh and since I really don't have um a question for you.. Um I'm a Sakura fan? By the way I saw Ino making out with Shikamaru the other day you can totally poke fun at her about that.

-Azn-Punkage

Dear Azn,

What is with the emo? Bet he's not! **Do you even know who he is?** Nope but no one is emo-er than me. I think it's 'more emo' emo-er is just like saying smartical, and scientifical. Don't you say that stuff? -shifty eyes- Maybe. Go back to answering! Wow didn't know it was the time of the month again. Shut up! And it's not. You just make it seem that way every time I see your ugly face with your stupid chiken ass hair! What was that? Answer the damn question! _Umm no thanks I think I'm good. And in my opinion no one's better than Sasuke!_ I'm not emo, I'm angsy. Yeah that's what I used to think too. But then I found out what emo was and seriously if you look up emo in the dictionary, there is no defention, just a picture of Sasuke. **Yeah thank you for bringing that up! I will have more than Sasuke! Beleive it! Neptune brought up something that I probably already have more than him!** Its fun to annoy him with it! _Well thank you for the fan comment. And now thanks to you I have two things agenst Ino pig. The squirrel thing was good but that would be proven wrong in seconds, but this. Man thank you!_

Dear Kisame,

Why'd you leave the mist village? It was kinda stupid and if you had a chance would you fight Zabuza?

Wolfdemon13

Dear Wolfdemon,

Uhh... Well... Hey Itachi come here!

Itachi: -walks up behind Kisame- What?

Kisame: How would I answer something like this.

Itachi: Uhhh... Would you like to fight Zabuza?

Kisame: Not really. If he was truly strong he wouldn't be doing that other guy's dirty work. But what about the first part.

Itachi: Hmmm... Hey Deidara! Come here!

Deidara: What is it?

Kisame: How would I answer the first part?

Deidara: -reads the first part- Well I would go with, start talking spanish and hang up. Un.

Kisame: But it's a written letter.

Deidara: Then start writing spanish and never reply again. Un!

Kisame: Yo no se esto Kisame tu hablas de... Adios!

Yarg. I forgot to say something... the "Sassy-chan" nickname is from a story titled..well, Sassy-chan. It's kinda messed up, wherein Sasuke get's some hormones injected for some reason and starts turning female, bit by bit.

Thus, Sassy-chan as a new name, at least for now. I believe it's on my favorites list, or maybe my update list...can't remember...but if you want to see it , go see it!

-Hyde n Psyc

Dear Hyde,

I think I will. Thank you! Sassy-chan. Good day ma'am. But Sassy-chan... I said good day! Wow, getting alittle moodie there aren't we Sasuke. Is it the time of the month already? -glears at me- Yeah what ever.

I apologise to all the people who can talk spanish fluently. I can't so I probably didn't make much sence!

Well I just remembered something, for all of thoes people who have read Sasuke's Sister and have a question for Mina or Hideki (her sensei) feel free to ask!


	8. Adorabul gay black angsty kitty

Woooooooooow chapter 8!

this is the longest fic I have!

omg im so sorry!! i didnt leave a review for the last chapter!! WAH!

Anyway, i admit it. im a yaoi fangirl...

friend: HA!

oh, naruto, yaoi is... umm... sasu/naru. hehehehe... mhy favorite paring! SASSY-CHAN AND NARUTO LOOK ADORABLE TOGETHER!

ahem, anyway, sassy-chan, you are so a black kitty! an adorable gay black angsty kittty! SQUE!

--Hillarious Tragedy

Dear Hillarious,

I personally am very happy that you didn't leave a review for the last chapter. -hits him- I'M NOT! I WAITED TO SEE IF SHE WOULD LEAVE ONE! YOU'RE SOO MEAN SASUKE! -hits him again- Oooookaaaaay... I'M NOT GAY, AND I'M NOT A KITTY! **You're not angsty or adorable either.** _-hits him- Sasuke is too adorable!_ Who is? _Sasuke!_ What Sasuke do you see when you look at him? -high fives Naruto- _The adorable one!_ SAYS WHO?! -low fives Naruto- _Says me!_ Sakura, -puts hands on her shoulders- listen to me carefully, YOU, HAVE, A, PROBLEM. -middle fives Naruto-

(that had to be done, I'm sorry I am a SasuxSaku fan but I really don't think he is all that cute.)

You're just saying that because you know you want me. -stares at him with a blank/confused/disgusted face- Uhh... EW MUCH? **Yeah so is that yaou thing!** I believe it's yaoI and I totally agree.

Okay, 'ew much' 'totally' are you like turning into a vallygirl or something? No. Me thinks you are my... Aquantence. What? You used 'like' in a vallygirl place. THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING! (the following is me and naruto) **NEXT!**

HA! And now a lot of us are going to rag on Sassy-chan about his sexuality!! Hee.

Common questions are, like, "If UKE is in your name, how could you NOT be gay? Hm?" and "He's so gothy that we all just have to tease him. :)" Though I don't think that last one's a question...

Hillarious Tragedy, I agree. He would be the best, gayest, most adorable black kitty in histroy of gay adorable black kitties. (Pst! Sasuke! I'm going to clone you...-reaches for your hair-)

I have so few questions for you all at the moment that I'm going to be calmer. Sasuke, I'm sorry about the name. I truly am. But I'ts really catchy, isn't it? Sassy-chan, Sassy-chan, ooh lala Sassy-chan. Try and sing it!

Sakura, do you know how a swallow could carry a coconut from Africa to the US? (trick question) I am in dire need of a coconut.

To Deidara: Have you ever had problems hold eatinng utensiles? I mean, have your little hand-buddies ever eaten your fork or what? And do they get gingivitis? Do you have to brush their teeth? Wait, wait, are they like dog mouths? Do they ever get bad breth? That must suck. And are your hand-mouths able to get indigestion? From eating all that clay and stuff. What happens then? And what if your exploding clay exploded while it was still in that mouth? What THEN? NO HELP FROM OTHER IS ALLOWED!!

For all of you... in answer to any unasked questions regarding 'hot dog or donut?' ...uh...well, when you ask someone that, if they answer 'hotdog', it's like saying, "I like boys." Donut is, of course, the counterpart.

You fools.

Love,

Hyde n Psyc (I'm going to eat your toes!)

Dear Hyde,

Hold on. -hits me- _-hits me twice-_ HEY WHAT WAS FOR THE SECOND HIT?! _ For what you said about Sasuke in the last question!_

Kakashi: -hits me-

STOP HITTING ME! -runs behind Naruto- PROTECT ME MINION! **MINION?!** SHUT UP AND PROTECT ME! **Okay I know you are all mad at Neptune but in her defence she was just being herself and being lazy that day and didn't feel the need to check it out.** Although I knew I should have! Naruto's right... Wow never thought I would ever say thows two words together in a sentence... But yeah he's right, I was just being lazy! So just answer the questions and stuff. And Sasuke don't hit me again! Why just me? You're afraid- Don't even finish that thought:'( You just hit really hard... Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

... Wow I just sounded like Emily...

Yeaaaah... I'M NOT GAY DAMNIT! And no, the last one isn't a question. AND DON'T YOU DARE CLONE ME! Yeah one of him is bad enough! -highfives Naruto- -Glares at Naruto and Neptune- **Sassy-chan, Sassy-chan,** ooh lala? **Sassy-chan-** -covers Naruto's mouth- Don't ever sing that again! _Umm, No I don't know how a swallow could carry a coconut from Africa to the US._ That's because as far as I knew, coconuts don't grow in Africa. And for thoes of you who are whoes line fans, that huge country Africa! Africa's not a country! I knew that smart ass! It's a joke!

Deidara: I'm going to answer the same way you asked. In a rant. No my hands only eat my clay stuff. Not that I've noticed. No. Not really. Kinda. Sometimes. Yes... It does... In more ways than one... No they don't have stomachs. Nothing. My hands are smarter than that! ... If that did happen though, then my arm will explode... La Duh!

OMG! I just realized I helped Hyde n Psyc! I said Sasuke was gay! Yeah no duh... Wait... You're going to do what to my toes? Clam down it's not like she raping them or something. You are so weird. Gracias!

This is still azn-punkage... Yeah anyways.

1. Hey Sakura I fully support you in the SasukeXSakura thing. But I really think you need to take the assertive and kidnap him or something. You know show off your new strength and little tricks and I'm sure he'll be impressed. If that doesn't work I still say go with the kidnapping idea.

2. Sasuke whenever I see your face on TV... I feel bad. Did you know that this creepy person Kaa-chan keeps a Cardboard cutout of you in her bedroom and dry humps it every night before she goes to bed? Yeah I know ew.

3. Hey Naruto did you know also that I'm a much bigger fan of yours than Sasuke's? I use to like him but seriously the EMO thing bugs me. Your one of my favorite characters now and someday people are going to realize that too. So highfive for another fan -highfives-

Black-Dragon-Rock

_Dear Black-Dragon,_

_Thank you for your support. And thank you for the great ideas._ OMG I WAS JUST SITTING DOWN TYPING WITH MY BACK STRIGHT AND EVERYTHING AND ALL OF A SUDDEN IT REALLY HURTS! LIKE STINGING WHEN I SLOUCH AND EVEN WHEN I SIT UP STRIGHT. Okay. Now between you and that thing that I just read, I'm officially freaked out. And possibly scared for life. -twiches-** Yeah! I am so totally better than Sasuke! Or should I say-** Don't say it! **-Opens mouth-** Don't say it! **Sassy-chan! Yes the adorabul gay black angsty kitty. -falls on floor laughing ass off-** SHUT UP DOBE! **No I won't because I'm better than you! And I will be Hokage one day! Believe it!** Dattebayo. (I really don't know if I spelt that correctly) _**-Looks at Neptune-**_ What?! ... MY BACK FEELS BETTER! _**-Looks at Neptune-**_ I like chocolate milk... Actually I don't I acutally hate milk. CONTINUE! **Neptune's a fan of me too! -Highfives Neptune-**

Dear Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke,

Hi again.

1. Sakura, if you could switch bodies with Sasuke for a day, what would you do?

2. Naruto, if you could switch bodies with Sakura for a day, what would you do?

3. Sasuke, if you're "not" gay, then why is uke in your name?

With Love,

Sparkableeder

_Dear Sparkableeder,_

_I'd tell that stupid Ino-pig that she wasn't worth his time! And that she is annoying! Hehe let's see how much she thinks she's better than me after that!_**I would go tell Sasuke that Sakura or I whatever hated him, and like Naruto! Hehe.** Wow... That's actually kinda sounded simmilar... MY BACK HURTS AGAIN! Neptune if you say actually again in this chapter I will hurt you. Yeah whatev... Sassy-chan. Arh grrr. Okay I'm only going to say this one more time and I'll take it slow this time... I'M. NOT. GAY. LET ME REPEAT IT. I'M. NOT. GAY! And why did you put quotations around not? Sasuke, just so you know... You've ACTUALLY truned into the running gag in this story... I mean with your gayness and all... I'm not gay!

3

2

1

Neptune come here. No you're gonna hurt me. No I'm not. Yes you are! -Dives behind Naruto... again- PROTECT ME MINION! **MINION?!** SHUT UP AND PROTECT ME!

_Okay thanks for reading... I have to go break up a fight... again. Tune in next time! __**Bye!**_ Bye!


	9. Blond Hair, Hollidays, and Spit

Haha! Chapter 9! HAPPY HALLOWEEN-IE! **hehe halloween-ie.**

Halloween was last month dobes. It's Thanks Giving. But I wrote this in october and I started it the 28th and expected it to be up by Halloween... Boob.

11.22.07

Sasuke,

How's the um... -cough cough- BLOND HAIR workin out for ya?

-- childxofxdeath

Dear child,

Neptune what is she taling about? Fic I wrote. One part in it I said something about dying ur hair blond. Thanks. No prob. Yeah fine. Just fine. Oh and don't adress her as child she is my friend and you sound like this kid I sit next to in social studies when you said Dear child.

Dear Sasuke,

No I won't leave you alone.

If Itachi came up to you and said "Yeah...about our clan? My bad." how would you respond?

Also, if Sakura was naked right now, would you look?

With all love,

Sparkableeder

Dear Sparkableeder,

I would kill him if he did that.

Maaaaayyyyyybeeeee. OMG! Naruto! Sasuke just sounded like us!!!! **Kewl!**

Sasuke,

OMG! Sasuke your soo hot! I love you!, now my question for him.

Why do you never show your love for Sakura?

--Mrs. Sasuke

Dear... Yeah no.

Please hold. Hey she has a good head on her shoulders. She knows that you love Sakura. But you obviously don't have a good head on your shoulders because I told you to never give me another letter like the one I just got. Help me!

-5 minutes later-

No you won't! I sure as hell will spit on you if give me another review like this one. Yeah what ev.

omg the last chapter was named adorabul gay angsty kitty! huzzah for some reason!

anyway, im very hurt that you were happy about such a depressing matter. and so, insted of naming my friends kitten sasuke, i named it sesshomaru, because you were mean.

naruto, he most certanly is angsty and adorable! more adorable and angsty than you thats for sure!

omg sasukes a vallygirl! im gonna tell all his other fangirls!

hyde n psyc, thank you for agreeing. and i will help you clone sasuke! to the fangirl mobile!

-jumps into a black car with the word 'fangirl' painted on the front in bright blue and drives off-

friend: ... omg lyke sasukes lyke tottaly lyke gay:D

-- Hillarious Tragedy

Dear Hillarious,

I don't care if you are hurt by such a depressing matter. And who is Sesshomaru? Inuyasha's brother. He prbably has more fangirls than you, Neji, and Naruto combined. Oh and throw Shikamaru in there too.

bet he doesn't.

Bet he does

bet he doesn't.

Bet he does

bet he doesn't.

Bet he does

bet he doesn't.

Bet he does infinitivo!

What? Bet he does infinity:D **Yeah I bet he is more angsty than me, but he can't be more adorable than me, I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER!**

Chu, lovelies, the swallow queston was a Monty Python reference. If you don't know the group, type in 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' into any standard search engine. I garuntee that you'll see some funny clips...

No I do not rape toes...who would do that? Besides Sasuke, I mean. Freakin' fetishes...Sasuke, by "-reaches for your hair-" I meant I was going to take a sample of your hair and somehow clone you into a cat. Somehow.

Lately I've taken up a great intrest in vampires...however, I now want to ask you a personal queston -Hyde walks in-

H: ALL your questions are personal.

M: Pssh. Go back in your corner.

H: Yes'm

What are your opinions (separately) on how a human would be a vampire? Also, do you believe in the Hamburgler?

And do all of you think you could go vegetariona if you tried? I've been veg since I was 11; it's actually a lot wasier than you might think. Sakura, you just strike me as the Earth-friendly type, so I wondered. It's very good for your complexion, by the way...

Hyde: -slaps bumperstiker reading 'save a cow: eat a vegetarian' on forehead-

Paints: Acrylic, watercolor, oils, or wall enamel?

Books: Vampires, romances, or sci-fi?

And Kakashi, whenever you take off your mask (I mean, you have to SOMEtime), does your face have a small patch of tanner skin? Because logically, you see, by covering your face so much you'd get a new version of a farmer's tan... so it'd look like you had an eyepatch on.

Oh, wait, weird image.

These are not the last of my questions. I just haven't logged in yet...

--Maira K

Dear Maira,

Yeeeeaaaaaah. Shut up. Don't tell her to shut up. If she shuts up I won't get as many reviews any more! And? Why don't you shut up? Okay so,to turn into a vampire, you have to be bitten by one. **To turn into a vapmire, you have to be dead then someone attemps to reserect you.** _To turn into a vampire, you have to have a thirst for blood._ -mumbles-Wow, I never thought Sakura could say something so emo. _What?_ Nothing. Acrylic. _Watercolors._ **Wall enamel!** Yeah. Out of thoes I'd have to say vampires. _Romances._ **I guess Sci-fi, though that sounds more Shino-ish for some reason.**

Kakashi: You see young Maira, I do take my mask off much more often than you think. It's just like me asking you if you get tanner skin from wearing your clothing. Next ques- Hey what about the Hamburgler? And the vegitarian thing? Okay fine, the Hamburgler doesn't exsist and being vegitarian is for the weak. **The Hamburgler does to exsist. And I can't go veg, because then I wouldn't be able to eat half the ramen I eat.** _I could try going veg, and I don't think the Hamburgler exsists either._ I agree with Naruto, the Hamburgler does to exsist and I have tried going veg. Oh and my friend, she is kind of a vegitarian, she only doesn't eat cow and other red meat. And my other friend is vegitarian and she doesn't eat any meat! Maybe I should follow in their footsteps... Maybe after La dia de gracias. (Thanks Giving)

Dear Sasuke, I luv u!!

-- I luv Sasuke

Dear... Yeeeaaaah no.

Now, I really have to go do something. -walks off- -runs off and away from Sasuke- Leave me alone!!!!! Not untill you get what you deserve! What do I deserve? You're the writer, do some flash back thing if you want to find out! Good idea. And now for the first time in "Ask A Ninja" history... A FLASH BACK!!!!!

Flash back

No you won't! I sure as hell will spit on you if give me another review like this one. Yeah what ev.

end of flash back

Oh... DON'T SPIT ON ME!!!!! -pins me down and attemps to spit on my face-

Kakashi: Sasuke, what are you doing to Neptune.

Me: -cracks up histerically because Kakashi jumped to the wrong conclusion- -gets off of me- -gets up-

Kakashi: -leaves- Hey Neptune, guess what. What? -taps me on the shoulder- -turnes around- -spits on my face- :7 (Thats supposed to be a smerk)- Grrrrraaahhhhh Sasuke Uchiha!

10 Minutes later:

_-cleaning up Sasuke's wounds- Sasuke how did you get all of these injuries? And only in 10 minutes!_ -Smirks-


	10. The craziness of Hyde N Psyc

It's time for a bonus chapter!!!!!! if you are a constant reveiwer and you want one just tell me and I'll do my best!

Randomness from one of my favorite reviewers...

HYDE N PSYC!!! or as she/he used to be known as CHIKIN-ASS-HAIR UCHIHA!!!

best Hyde n Psyc moments (in my opinion)

"YAY CHIKIN BUTT!!"

"So...I stupidly puta stupid comment on the chapter I wanted to commnet on without a stupid comment. You get that?"

"To Sasuke: Is yur hair really narturaly? or do you gel it? Or...is it like flat and long and --giggle-- pretty when it's wet and then flips up when it's dry?"

" or yu can call me..um...(thinks creativly)...BelloftheMind"

"To Naruto: ... I'm going to ignore you." **Hehe... I remember that.** Get lost this is supposed to be my chapter!

"Sasuke: Mongoose or ferret? I MUST KNOW!!!"

"Naruto: I'm not going to ask you the mongoose/ferret question, because your answer is obviously ferret."

" or e) leave him there with a slab of raw meat for food and hope that he's better by morning?"

"HA! And now a lot of us are going to rag on Sassy-chan about his sexuality!! Hee."

" "He's so gothy that we just have to tease him:)" Though I don't think that last one's a question..."

"Sassy-chan, Sassy-chan, ooh, lala, Sassy-chan. Try and sing it!"

"I am in dire need of a coconut."

And for the best rant I've ever heard:

"To Deidara: have you ever had problems holding eating utensiles? I mean, have your little hand-buddies ever eaten your fork or what? And do they get gingivitis? Do you have to brush their teeth? Wait, wait, are they like dog mouths? Do they ever get bad breath? That must suck. And are your hand-mouths able to get indigestion? From eating all that clay and stuff. What happens then? And what if your exploding clay exploded while it was still in that mouth? What THEN? NO HELP FROM OTHERS IS ALLOWED!!"

"You fools."

"(I'm going to eat your toes!)"

"No I do not rape toes...who would do that? Besides Sasuke, I mean."

"Freakin' fetishes"

"H: Yes'm"

" 'save a cow: eat a vegetarian' "

"Paints: Acrylic, watercolor, oils, or wall enamel?"

ANOTHER RANT! "And Kakashi, whenever you take off your mask(I mean you have to take it off SOMEtime), does your face have a small patch of tanner skin? Because logically, you see, by covering your face so much you'd get a new version of farmer's tan...so it'd look like you had an eyepatch on."

"Oh, wait, weird image."

And now (now now now) What you've all waited for (for for for) A new (new new new) Question (tion tion tion) From (from from from) Hyde (hyde hyde hyde) n (n n n) Psyc! (psyc psyc psyc!)

9/14/07

Hehee, well, I'm logged in now

Me llamo Hyde. Como te llamas? Y de donde eres?

No, never mind, that sounds stalker-ish.

I would love to shove a spork down your throat. I'm not going to say who that is directed at because I think you know who you are...and your name begins with S-A. Which leave you a 50-50 chance.

Kisame-tan, since you have gills, do you ever get exceptionally thirsty? And have you ever considered confronting Tachi-chan about getting his hair cut?

Naruto...er, never mind. Here, have some pancakes!!

Have any of you ever fallen out of a tree when on watch because you fell asleep? And PLEASE, do NOT use that cliche old 'I'm a ninja, of corse I don't fall out of trees' thing, especially you, Sassy-tan

Happy New Year!!

Translates to: "My name is Hyde. What's your name? And where do you live?"

The honorific '-tan' is a more cutesy form of -chan, usually reserved for small children and/or a person with which you have an extreamly close relationship. Can also be (conveniently) used to annoy.

Dear Hyde,

Hehe, I love writing in spanish to confuse people who don't speak spainish. Example) Me: Que es para la cena? My brother: I know it's hot outside! Me: Yo necesito auda! My brother: Meatloaf. Hehe. Don't worry I won't tell the poor sap about that. Oh and I'm very sorry it took me so long to post up this coment from you but I had so much to do, between dance, school, peer turting, cheerleading, hanukka, chorus, and christmas! Oh my! Also, I sometimes call my brother Illy, so one day I asked him if I could call him Illy-chan. But he said no and was really mean about it. Then I asked him if I could call him Illy-tan. He yelled at me. :'(

Kisame: No not really. You see, just because you have gills doesn't mean that I need water. It just means that I could breath under water... I HAVE GILLS?!

Me: Hehe. Kisame es muy muy stupido. Si?

Kisame: Now that I've calmed down from that little trama, yes I have considered it, but I've never really done it. Maybe I should.

**I like pancakes!!** Bien para tu. **What?** Exactly!

Well can't wait for chapter 11. Wow. Chapter 11. I have more chapters in this story than my sister does in about three. And she's on the computer more than I am. Wow. 12/23. Tomorrow's Christmas eve. Well till next time and don't forget, if you want a chapter like this, and you're a long time reviewer, like Hyde n Psyc here, then just tell me. But if you're not a long time reviewer and you still want one. Just give me the stupidest and/or randomest things you've ever done and a review for atleast one person from Naruto and I'll make it happen.

Merry Christmas Eve's Eve.

and for the non-catholics, or catholic and someother religoins out there.

Merry Christmahanaquanzadon/ Christmahanaquanzaka! And if you're like me, then Merry Christmas, and Happy Hanukka, even though it was like three weeks ago. :)


	11. Sporks, chicken, and bands Oh my!

Wow. Chapter 11. Wow.

Wow. Christmas. Wow.

Dear Sasuke

Do you know that you hairstyle looks like a chikens butt?

Ps I'm not a fangirl.

--Charlotte

Dear Charlotte,

Yes I am very aware of that. Yeah. Hyde N Psyc's old name pointed that out very clearly. "Chikin-ass-hair Uchiah". Hehe.

lol jeezus youra violent chick arentya neptune?

QUESTION TIME!

Sasuke- if Itach came up to you crying, and told yout that he was forced to kill the entire clan so that you weren't killed, huggeded you and told you he still loved you... wouldja forgive him? Also... never spit on my friend again or I will really kick you kitty even though you're really hot and goth/emo like me! (the goth/emo part i mean im deffinitly not narcisistic like that) okay 1 more... what are you 3 fav. bands?

Sakura- if you saw gaara and sasuke having an affair, how would you react? also... whatre your 3 bands?

naruto- OH MY FRIGGEN GAWD I LOVE YOU YOU ARE THE MOST CUTEST GUY EVER! I BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL BECOME HOKAGE ONE DAY I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH PLS PLS PLS MARRY ME WHEN WE GET OLDER!

also... what 3 bands 4 u?

see u in skool neptune

k im done.

Dear childxofxdeath,

I am when I want to be. So can Nizz.** Nizz? **Shut up. Hmmm. Crying. I guess it would take a lot to make him cry so why not. DON'T DO IT SASUKE! IT'S A TRAP! _**-stares at me-**_ Had to be said. Music is just a wast of time. I have better things to do than to listen to music. That explains a lot. -glares at me- Hurt me, and I'll sic childxofxdeath, Nizz, and Naruto on you! Oh and Dee too and she could really hurt you. _Ummm I would be sad._ Yeah, leave it to you to ask a question like that Katie. _**Who's Katie?**_ Shut up. Except Sakura, because she's the only one not getting on my nerves. _:) And my favorite bands are..Plane white T's, Aly and Aj, and Cheyenne Kimball._ The last one's not a band but whatev. **Uhhh fangirl much? But whatever. At least you didn't act like this to Sasuke! Thank you for your support! Simple plan, Fall Out Boy, and uhh...** -wispers in his ear- **OH YEAH! Linkin Park!** See ya in skool. AFTER THE VACATION!!!! VACATION!!! VACATION!!! I'M ON VACATION!!! -wiggle wiggle wiggle-

Num num... Spontaneity. :3

Netpune, you guessed correctly. It is our verry own dear Sassy-tan for whom I harbor such hatred so as to shove a spork down his throat. Make any sense? No? Good.

Vegetarianism is soo NOT for the weak. Thanksgiving was e-zay, if I say so myself. (besides, it's not like i don't cheat every now and then...)

Naruto:... Te gusta mas: Sassy-tan o Sakura? Y... Por que eres tan corto? (use a translator ir you can't figure it out.)

AND:

Pinto beans or lima beans?

To all of you: Say you had to fill out a form for something on the Internet, but you didn't feel comfortable giving out your real name. Please make up a fake name, the whole lot of you. My pop uses Hugh Deddet as a fake name. I use a lot of different names.

Hilarious Tragedy: Encontrarme en doce por el almacén. Traer la furgoneta y las tijeras. (Meet me at 12 AM by the ware house. Bring the van and the scissors.)

Later dudes!

Dear Hyde,  
Thank you. **Uhhh. Sakura and I don't know. I guess my parents passed it down to me. :'(** HAHA! I started to teach him spanish and he's already this good. I rock as a teacher. What did she say? Like hell I'm telling you! _Would you tell me?_ Sorry Sakura, you would just turn around and tell Sasuke. If Sasuke didn't want to know then I would tell you. Losiento mucho! **Hm m. Sure you are.** I am. Now finish the question! **Pinto! I'm tired. GOOD NIGHT! -curls up and goes to sleep-** Naruto you can go to sleep after the chapter! Now tell Hyde your fake name! **Ricardo Nast! Happy?!** Yes and that is a very weird name. Naruto Uzumaki. o0o0o0o Naruto got served! -walked next to Sasuke and faced Naruto- Loser loser. Twist this. Fly away. Kiss this. Talk to the hand. Talk to the rist. Damn boy you just got dissed! -L backwards L twist into a bird and fly away. Kiss hand and touch butt. Held up hand. Held up wrist. Snapped infornt and brought arm over head.- Hehe my friend Kayla tought me that!_ Uhh I don't know what name I would use._ Oo Sakura, use Ariana Hall! _Okay that sounds good. Ariana Hall. _What about you? What do you use? I use either Sam Rose, or Lin-lin Reed.

Hi again!

Naruto, What will be the first thing you do as Hokage?

Sakura, if Sasuke could sing what would he sing?

Sasuke, if Naruto killed Itachi how would you feel?

Thank you.  
--Sparkableeder

**Dear Sparkableeder,**

**I would lower the price of ramen!** No duh there. _Uhhh. I would picture him singing, uhh... Neptune what is that song by Linkin Park you were singing yesterday?_ Uhhh. What I've done. _Yeah either What I've Done by Linkin Park or Me against the world by Simple Plan. _I would find his dead corps and shred it to peaces, then I would fight Naruto to prove that I am stronger. And that is a stupid question. It's stupid because he would never be able to kill Itachi and I'm the only one who can do it. But I'm afraiiiiiid by him. I'm afraid of him but I must kill him. Complex? I think not... and I'm a jerk to everyone! (Aquard silence) -put one hand on top of the other and twirled thumbs- Aquard turtal. _**­-stares at me-**_ Why is it fun to stare at me in this chapter?! Because. And dare I ask, but what was with that thing after I said I'm the only one who could do it? Oh go to deviantArt and search Naruto and on the 7th page click on the little chibi sasuke picture that says "Sasuke Says 'Full view please' " It's in this random high pitched voice and it is sooo funny! Naruto would deffenitly love it. And the part I just did was the last part of Sasuke's little monolog. **Can you do the whole thing?!** Yeah. **Do it!** And there is Sasuke. He's really cool and says, "I must kill my brother. I must kiiiill my brother. I must kill my brother, I'm the only one who could do it. But I'm afraiiiid by him. I'm afraid of him but I must kill him. Complex? I think not... and I'm a jerk to everyone!" Hehe! And then at the end they go, "They over dramatitize everything and all these bad things happen... and someone eventually dies. Then end" And then they show Sasuke falling backwards like he's dying... H hehe Sasuke has buck teeth! **-Cracks up laughing and falls of chair laughing-**

Dear Naruto,

Why do you say 'believe it' so often? my mom wonders this too.

--Illy

**Dear Illy,**

**I don't know. I just say it. Like neptune says whatev. or w'ever. Tell your mom, force of habit.**

Hey. Dragon of Venus again. Now, what would you all want for Christmas? Since it's today and all. Only 3 things. I remember one year, Neptune, Illy and I (Yes Illy is my brother along with Neptune's brother), could only ask for 5 things on our list. Our parents didn't do that again this year though. Have fun this Christmas.

--Dragon of Venus

Dear Dragon,

Oh yeah, I remember that. Now this year we're going to our aunt's house for Chirstmas for the first time ever. Okay on to the other people. **I want more kuni, to be hokage, and a new outfit.** Oh yeah, Naruto's like me. Wants clothes for Christmas! -high fives Naruto- I want power, less girls following me around, and to avenge my clan. Yeaaaaah. Uhhhh. You scare me. Sakura's turn! _Umm, I want a new outfit, earing, and hair extentions._ Yeah Sakura wants clothing too! Oh my mom makes jewlery and she makes the best earings. I could have her make a pair with pink swarfski crystles and give them to you if you want. _That would be great! Thanks neptune!_ Oh and Sasuke, about the girls following you around, you'll see that if less do follow you around, you'll start to want more people following you around because you like how it makes you feel about yourself. That happened to me onetime. My friend stoped playing with my hair for a while and eventhough it used to annoy me when she did it, I started to want her to play with my hair after she stoped. It's really weird. Trust me. OKAY! I'M DONE RANTING!

i think i forgot to review again last chapter. did i even read last chapter? hm... -gasp- I KNOW! I MUST HAVE (dundunDUN) AMNESIA:O

poor sasu-chan. -huggles sasuke- HUGGLE:3

friend: where's orochimaru, i wanna give him a poisoned gingerbread man cookie thing.

oh yeah, why is his toungue so long? sasuke, sesshomaru is cool. but i have a new obsession! L! yay!  
-sits the way L does- this is fun! -falls over- darn.

I DONT SPEAKIE YOU PEOPLEZ LANGUAGE! speak english, ITS CONFUZZLING! . -spins around-

friend: -sigh- time to go to kairi. shes, lyke, a docter. or something. lyke, IDK. she'll help HT.

... WAH! sakura, you have to save me from kairi! your sorta like her 'cuz your hair is pink and hers is red.

now for CHRISTMAS PRESENTS! naruto, you get star wars legos. sakura, you get fancy shampoo and conditioner. sasuke, you owe me a present. emo-cockatoo-sasu-chans dont get presents.so i better get a present. or else ill throw old fish and dead elderly rats at you. AND EVERYTHING WILL BE COVERED IN SALSA! :D

FLASHBACK! IT BURNS!

-gasp-HAMBURGLER EXISTS! I CAN PROVE IT! -jumps into the fangirl mobile and drives away-

friend:th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-that's all folks!  
-- Hillarious Tragedy

Dear Hillarious Tragedy,  
Don't hug me. Yes please give him a poisoned gingerbread man! El hombre de jengibre! Shut up. Centarse su boca! Yeeaah. I don't know why his toung is so long. Because he's a snake man thingy. That's why. Yeah Sesshomaru is a lot cooler than you! And don't even start with me this time! Because we both know I'm gonna win again! And yes, the english language is confuzzling! _Uhh who is Kairi?_ **Kewl! Thanx for the present. What's Star wars?** _Thank you for present. I can't wait too try them out._ Yeah, your not getting a present either. I'm not a emo-cockatoo-sasu-chan. And I'll just dodg all the stuff you throw at me. Not if I tie you to a stump like Kakashi did to Naruto. And once again agreed, the Hamburgler exists! Nu-uh!  
Uh-hu!  
Nu-uh!  
Uh-hu!  
Nu-uh!  
Uh-hu!  
Nu-uh!  
Uh-hu! Infinty time goolgleplex! I win agian!!!

Haha I beat Sasu-tan again! don't call me that. Yeah whatever!

(I say this too)

_**Next chapter soon!**_ See ya then!


	12. spanish in the past and sickness

COCKATOO-TAN! that sounds so cute! yay! -huggles sasuke- you too adorable and fuzzy not to hug, sasu-tan!

english is more like a mixture of every main language all together 'n stuff.

to hyde: my name would be princess shalaylay of the shalaylay clan! just wanted everyone to know... and ok, do we need big or little scissors?

i captured hamburgler!

hamburgler: I WANTZ MEH HAMBUGGERS! -eats friend's head-

o.o i don't like him. im gonna put him in your house, kay cockatoo-tan? too bad, im doin it anyway!

-pours mild salsa on sasukes hair- WHE!

-pours old food in sasukes shirt- :3

-old rats, sick elvs, and dead fish flock around sasuke- yay! merry whatever-holiday-it-is sasu-tan!

and for everyone else, to apologise for sasukes dead fish problem, you all get french vanilla ice cream!

oh yeah, kairi is in kingdom hearts, maybe you might want to check it out. it isnt bad.

byebyez! -jumps into the fangirl mobile to go meet hyde with the scissors so they can clone sasuke-

--Hillarious Tragedy

Dear Hillarious,

Don't call me Cockatoo-tan. It's almost worse than the last nickname you and Hyde n Psych gave me. There is no such thing as the Shalaylay clan. Are you sure about that fact? How do you know that there isn't a Shalaylay clan in some village that no one even bothers to remember anymore? Shut up. I OBJECT! I mean... I REFUSE! Yeah, well I don't want that stupid hamburgler in my house, you don't even have a key to my house. It's called breaking and entering smart one. Well all the other stupid things you did to me don't bother me. How I smell isn't a main priority to a ninja. A ninja should be able to withstand any amount and all torcher.

Yay! French vanilla ice-cream, I had to have that for breakfast recently. I just got my braces tightend and I couldn't chew so I had ice-cream for breakfast!! Unfortunitly I'm sick right now and the thought of me eating vanilla ice cream is a little sickening. _Ok thank you for telling me who Kairi is._ NEXT QUESTION!!!!!

Hanukkah! Yay, I'm NOT the only Jew!

"The Best Of Hyde." Y'know, when it's all summed up like that, I look a little...unstable. And that's saying the minimum.

BTW, Si, si, Kisame es bastante stupido, y...y...Naru-tan es bastante bajo. ("yes, yes, Kisame is really stupid, and...and...Naru-tan is really short.")

Do I really rant that much? -hides in corner- I think I need, like...and shock collar or something. Gotta train myself better.

-waves cane- you darned kids! (I dun' really have a cane...)

--Hyde n Psych

Dear Hyde,

Ranting isn't always a bad thing. I rant a lot with my friends and my bestfriend rants a lot more than you do. Also, reading rants are fun. Hey if reading rants weren't fun, Naruto wouldn't be in this! **What?** Nothing.

Also, it's not that hard to find Jewish people. It's harder to find people like me, half jewish, half catholic. I've only met... I think one person that was the same as me. Hehe. Si, si. Naruto es muy muy bajo y stupido. Kisame y Sasuke tambien. OH I just learned how to talk in the past tence!!!! Yo no nadaste en el invierno. Te gusta mi vocabulario en el espanol? XD **I am short, you don't have to keep rubbing it in my face. You too Neptune!!!!!** Eh pipe down shorty! Ha ha. You two emo cockatoo kid from the black lagoon. Oh oh!!! my brother has a cane, can I wave it around?!?!?!?!

sasuke-no-teme: would you say your theme song is 'The Emo Kid' by Adam and andrew?

naruto-no-baka: i ish you sister, treat me with respect!! (look it up in 'Ask Jiraiya!')

Forehead-san: i dun like you. which is why i make you marry Lee in all my fanfictions. (oh and you have 7 kids! X3 i love torturing you!)

--Hidan'sGirlfriend

Dear Hidan'sGirlfriend,

Music is a waste of my time and if it was my theme song, I'm sure Neptune would have cruly made it apparent by now. Even though it is kind of funny to think of. **Even if you really are my sister, I still refuse to treat you with respect. You don't just go around asking for respect without giving it first.** _-twitch twitch-_ Sakura, it's just a fanfiction._ Yeah, and if you want Naruto to give you respect then you have to treat me with respect, address Naruto, Sasuke, and I the same way everyone else does._ Wow, Sakura's supporting and defending Naruto. Never thought I'd see this day. XD _**-stares at Neptune-**_ Me and my sickly little germs will just walk off now. Oh but before I do, -runs up to Sakura and feels her forehead- Sakura, do you have a feaver?

Haha, thought you'd get away this time?

Wrong again, Chicken-XX. :3

Say, Naruto, I think I've vinally found a use for you, you once-useless lump: Grab me a burrito and mail it to Timbuktu-- then kindly send Sasuke to the store for a gallon of milk. We're out, and I don't feel like leaving the warmth of my house. It's COLD outside.

While you're at it, tell him we need more alfalfa-- Itachi's starving and abominable snowmen are getting rare 'round these parts. Send it to the Happy Farm and tell him he's welcom to join us if he ever feels like he eeds to "get away from it all". We've got plenty of open fields and lovely stables filled with sweet hay and oats. I'm sure he'd be comfortable.

Oh wait. You're no good, you're just a taskmaster! Ah, well. I suppose anything with "master" in it is bound to make you feel special...

Anyhoo, here's a question, since I'm low on curiosity at the moment. Be original in your answer, please.

"Do you ever wish you could just sit down on the floor and cry?"

Ninja life seems hard, and God knows you've all had your fair share of angst. I mean, Jesus Christ with Crisco in His Holy Hair, every single one of you has a back-story, compleate with pastely coloring in the anime and sad-girl-in-the-snow faces galore, expecially in that damn Zabuza Saga. (Tell Haku I said "Hi" and "Get a haircut.")

Toodles!

Hyde

Dear Hyde,

Shit.** Ok, I'll get on that as soon as I finish the nap Neptune promised me last chapter.** You still haven't taken it? **Nope but I'm gonna take it now because it's the last question and then I'll send a burrito to Timbuktu. But before I take my nap, Sasuke, go to the store and buy a gallon of milk and alfalfa!** No. **Oh well.** You're just giving up that easily? **No, I'm going to try again after my nap.** Well before you take your nap, answer the question. **Ok. Well I do. It's just, I'd rather do it where no one could possibly see me like the comfort of my own home. Hey if you had no parents, don't you think you would want to just cry sometimes?**

_Sometimes. Sometimes life it's self is a little too much to handle. Some days you just wake up and you just feel like you need to cry._ **That's just because you're a girl.** -hits Naruto really hard- That's just because you're an idiot. **Well I know you're stronger than that Neptune.** Not really no, I cry a lot. I cried when I thought we were giving away my dog, I cried when my uncle's mom died that wasn't really even that close to the family. Heck I cried for like a week when I found out she died. Oh and one time I cried for like five hours for absolutly no reason, no one could make me stop crying. **How did you stop?** I fell asleep.

I'm not really a big fan of revealing how I feel on the inside. -translation: I really do. Especally after that whole thing with Itachi.- Okay, I guess that is all for now. Hold on, you didn't answer the question. Uh yeah I did. Not really. You just talked about times you did cry, you never talked about if you ever want to sit down on the floor and cry. Okay fine, I'll answer the question. I want to sit down on the floor and cry a lot. Even after dealing with my little brother, I would just walk into my room, absolutly calm, lie down on my bed, and cry. Also sometimes I sit down in a courner in my kitchen and cry while my mom cooks dinner.

**Hey Neptune, who do you think is angstier, you or Sasuke?** I don't know Naruto, do you think I should do some random debate on that in a chapter? **Uh hell yeah!!!** Hehe. Sure, why not. Next chapter I'm going to do a ramdom debate on who's angstier, me or Sasuke! So cast your votes now!!!! But we all know who's going to win anyway. Yup, the girl who lost three relitives and never really recovered even thoughs he pretends she has. XD _**-stares at Neptune-**_ Why must you all stare at me when I say something random?!?!?!?!?!?!?


	13. This deserves something

OMG! CHAPTER 13! I never thought I would have 13 chapters of a story! Please I want 70 reviews! I only need 8 more to reach that goal! It took me so long because everyday I have to stay late because I made the tennis team at my school. I'm number 15 because I missed latters yesterday! Whoo-hoo!

**DISCLAIMER:** I'm wearing Naruto's sleeping cap.

this is a fun idea  
quetions:  
Hinata: what is the longest you have talked to Naruto with out passing out?  
Kiba: Do you have feeling for Hinata?  
Sakura: who are you top 5 Fav Male Ninjas  
Kakashi: Rin is not dead she is staying in my spare bedroom when do you what to come pick her up or do you what to at all if not i'll keep her here :-)  
Sasuke: is it just me or does Korin remind you of a red headed Sakura too  
Naruto: name you top 5 Fav Female ninja?  
Jiraiya: was the peek at Tsunade worth all the broken bones?  
:-bomber68

D-dear B-b-bomber68,  
U-umm, when we went to find the Bicochu beatle I think.  
Kiba: Uhhh... She's my friend if that's what you mean. Me: Ahh. Innocence. _Sasuke, Uhhh let's see... -at a blank- Well Naruto's pritty handy when he's not being annoying or slurping down ramen, so I guess he would be second... Then I guess Shikamaru because he can't be annoying, he's to lazy to be... Then I guess Shino if he keeps his distance... Then Lee because he protected me during the Chunin Exams._ Kakashi: I DON'T BELIEVE YOUR LIES! **Believe it!** Me: Shut up already. Trust me, it's not just you. **Sakura, Hinata, Temari, Tenten, Ino... That's five right?** Me: yes Naruto, that's five.  
Jiraiya: YOU BETTA BELIEVE IT! **That's my line!**

omg, i have your house key too, sasu-kitty/cockatoo-tan! NOW WE MATCH!! and the shalaylay clan is a clan of high prestige. Shalaylay is actually an oc of mine... i think she burns things.  
. stop speaking in foreign languages! it confuzzles me to no end! what does " tambien " mean? it comes right after sasuke...  
oh yeah, rants are so fun! like, this one time i was talking on the phone, and then fluffy came up and started rubbing me. and im all like "wtf cat, dont rub me." but he kept rubbing me and so then i pet him but then hi bet me and started gnawing on my arm. so then i had to get off the phone, which made my friend, who is a crazed fangirl of sasuke, get made. so she randomly came over and then she hit me and fluffy.  
... yeah.  
i cry too. like when my baby cat died. and when me mum and dad were fighting. and when kata's cat died. and when autumns chicken died. i loved that chicken, he was chunky. -sniffle-  
well, um, adios... i think. oh well, bye.  
Hillarious Tragedy

Dear Hillarious,  
LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! NO!!1 You can't! You see if you leave him alone then there would be no crazy fangirl and I'm never gonna be good at making one. Well I don't know if you qualify as a crazy fangirl but you're talking about breaking into his hous so that works too. :D Also, tambien means also. It's spanish. I'll also say what the spanish means at the end of the chapters from now on so everyone else will know what we talk about. Hey can you speak a different language? So far I'm good at two but I'm learning a third... JAPANESE! **Oh hey, I'm sorry about your friends cat, chicken, and your bird. Also, I thought you were talking about Sasuke until you said he was chunky. Well I'm done talking. Hey neptune, can I have an oreo?** -growls- My oreos!  
Dragon of Venus: Don't growl at the pigeons. (don't ask)

NEPTUNE, mi amiga! Eres vivo!  
Me gusta el capitulos: usted muy interesante.  
Leer ustedes...yo tengo ganas de bilar! XD O cantar :)  
Cockatoo-tan, yo tengo la ropa tu necesito!! (You shall now go naked, my pretty boy. ;D I've stolen your clothes!)  
Sakura-chan, por que el rojo ropa? Ustedes "romantica", si, pero llama la atencion a ti! Y...pozo, no eres importante.  
Whew! Writing in all Spanish is getting a little tiring, so I'll just get back my native language, 'kay peeps?  
I don't believe I've spoken to Kakashi in a while, and I'd now like to ask a favor of YOU: Do you ever get tired of have to train thoes brats? I mean, honestly, if you'd never let them pass that exam you could be back home reading your life away or maybe just sleeping...! -grumble- That's what I'd do if I had countless hours...  
Or maybe you'd be dead. Who knows?  
--Hyde n Psych

**Dear Hyde,  
Why did you forget about me. Or in Spanish... yeah I don't know how to say that in Spanish.** She didn't forget about you. I believe you were pozo. Because it was followed by you're not improtant. And thanks... I guess. What did you do with my clothes?! -twitch- _I like my red. Also, did you call me a llama?_ LA VIE BOHEME! Sorry I'm listening to RENT music and I had the ganas(urge) to say that.  
Kakashi: The way I see it is that if I wasn't the three holligins' sensei, then I would be the sensei of a different team or eventually get a team or a mission.

watsup guys... and neptune adn sakura  
ok here goes.  
Sasuke: are you, in fact, a chicken in disguise?  
Naruto-sempai: Sorry for going all freakish fangirl on you and if you were any color what would you be besideds orange. i complement you on your musical tast.  
Sakura.:are you a virgin? lee or nejijijijijijiji?  
Sasuke: one more time... HOW MUCH WOOD? figure it out.  
-- childxofxdeath

Dear childxofxdeath,  
No. I am not a chicken in disguise. I don't want anything to do with chickens in fact. **It's kewl. Now I know I have a fan that Teme doesn't. I like my music style too thank you.** _I don't feel comfortable answering that but if you must know, I'm no a slut so the answer would be yes. I am still a virgin. If I really had to choose, I guess Neji._ What the hell? Why? Neji is only concered about himself and his stupid attacks that he isn't the only one that can do! HINATA CAN DO THEM TOO! _Well Lee kind of scares me._ But Lee will protect you better than Neji would. Lee actually has a caring bone in his body. As for Neji, he's voiced by the same person as Toshiro Hitsugaya, first off, I'm surprised he's not short, and secondly, I'm not a big Toshiro fan no am I a big Neji fan. Onetime I was looking for pictures of Neji for his theme song and I got a stomach just looking threw his file on anime galleries. _But Lee's obsessive and clingy._ I've been friends with somewhat obsessive and clingy people before. I still don't see what's so wrong with Lee... W'eva... I'M LOOSING SPINAL FLUID... (in other words, my nose is running)

Hyde n Psych's comment:  
Mi amiga! Eres vivo! - My friend! You live!  
Me gusta el captulos: usted muy interesante. - I like the chapter: you're very interestin  
Leer ustedes...yo tengo ganas de bilar! XD O cantar :) - To read you all...i have urges to dance! XD Or sing :)  
Yo tengo la ropa tu necesito!! - I have the clothes you need!!  
Por que el rojo ropa? Ustedes "romantica", si, pero llama la atencion a ti! - Why the red clothing? You're romantic, yes, but it calls attention to you!  
Y...pozo, no eres importante. - And...(I don't know what pozo means. It's probably so name for Naruto), you're not important.

Well see ya next time! And don't forget...

NO DAY BUT TODAY!


	14. BUUUURN!

I know I suck with updating this story but I only got three decent sized reviews and I wanted to see if I could get more. I'll have some good ones next time. I'll get them from my anime friends.

I SHALL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE, SASU-TAN! NEVER!

(i just had an entire chocolate bunny in 2 minutes, so yeah...)

I so totally am a crazy fangirl! Don't deny it!

i used to know how to say ball in spanish but that was in kindergarten. oh! i know what 'tu madre' means in spanish!! :D

I also know a little bit of japanese from watching shippuden for fifteen hours straight.

Naruto!! How dare you! Sasuke isn't a chunky chicken!! He is a Chunky Cockatoo!!

(Now i must go)

-- Hillarious Tragedy

Dear Hillarious,

LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! AND STOP CALLING ME SASU-TAN! **Someone's a little pissed. Hey Sasuke, you sure you took your medicine this morning?** BUUUURN! By the way, (i'm so gonna get mocked for saying this but) a big ball like a soccer ball is balon and a small ball like a tennis ball is pelota. I too can speak some japanese! I can say hi my name is (insert name here)!

Konnichiwa, bakuno name wa Rinday desu! Rinday is my name in japanese! **Sasuke is a chunky chickatoo!** -beats Naruto's head in with a water bottle- _Can you two please at least try to be normal while we're answering these questions for once?_ BUUUURN!

Naruto: do you remember the girl in the waterfall you saw during you mission with team 8? She was cute HU?

Neji: is there anything between you and Tenten?

Tenten: what's it like to train was Guy, Neji, and Lee?

Tsunade: Besides being a pervert is Jiraiya really so bad?

Sakura: wat was it like to train with the Hokage?

Sasuke: was it worth it running off with Orochimaru?

Kakashi: Why would i lie to you about Rin? Rin says hey and she's happy your doing well.

Naruto: can you send my some pork ramen

--bomber68

**Dear bomber68,**

**HELL TO THE YEAH!** (sorry I just watched bring it on 4)

Neji: She's a good sparing partner. I refuse to talk about my personal life where everyone can read it.

Me: So there is something?

Neji: Shut up.

Tenten: Loud, and tiring.

Tsunade: He's not really the brightest crayon in the box if you know what I mean. But I guess not.

_It was a lot of work but it really paid off in the end don't you think?_

The way you say that makes it sound dirty... I can kick Itachi's ass now so yeah, I guess it was worth it.

Kakashi: Oh well in that case, hi Rin. I'm happy you're doing well too! You are doing well right?

**My pork ramen!** I think that's a no. Sorry.

Dear Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura,

1) How did you guys manage to not kill each other when you first became Team 7? Didn't you all pretty much hate each other until after you came back from the Land of Waves?

2) As of today, how many times have you tried to see Kakashi's whole face? Have any of the tries worked?

3) (To Sasuke) Does the fact that you hair resembles a duck's butt (it's way too spiky to look like a chickens's butt) embarass you? If so, why don't you grow it out or something?

4) (To Naruto) You're too cute to make fun of. Seriously, why do people like being mean to you?!

...No, I don't mean "hey-you're-cute-let's-date" cute, I mean "aw-look-at-the-cute-little-puppy" cute. Yes, I am slightly high on sugar.

Sorry for the long letter,

Wrath

_Dear Wrath,_

_Don't mind the long letter. Also I think it was pretty hard not to try to kill Naruto for a while. I still think it is personally. Oh and we didn't all hate each other._ Yes I hated this whole thing. I just ignored the idiotcy around me. Hey that's how I deal with you! Shut up! I'm sorry did you say something? **BUUUURN! Life with this one -points to Sasuke- sucked and it always will.** Amen! -hits me in the head with a water bottle- Must you hit me with a water bottle? Yes. When you do something stupid like that. _We have tried to see Kakashi-sensei's whole face._ **About ten times already too!** And if you want to know if any of them have worked, I'll just show you a picture of Sasuke when he came in this morning! -pulls out a picture of Sasuke with his hair messed up, his headband on upside-down and almost covering his eyes, and his eyes are compleatly lightless and has circles under them (meaning he's tired).-

Where the hell did you get that?! Gimme that! No! I will never reaveal my sources! -having fun keeping the picture away from Sasuke and torturing him-

I havn't heard duck's butt before but my hair is fine just the way it is. Why does every one have to tell me how to live my life? All I want to do is kill Itachi! Is that too much to ask for? Did you take your medicine this morning? -refering back to what Naruto said in the beginning of the chapter-

**Uh... thank you for the complement. I think.** Yes you want to thank Wrath. **Okay if Neptune says I should thank you then I will. Thanx!**

**P.S. We all get hyped up on sugar from time to time. I think Neptune is actually right now so it's okay.**

Dear Naruto,

Do you know the song Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny? It's a good but compleatly random song. My friend slept over my house recently and that was all she sang. I said that we should make up a dance to it then we forgot to.

-- R.F.69

**Dear R.F.69,**

**Did you know that-** Yes she knows. that's actually what my friend wanted her youtube name to be but she forgot and gave it a different number. I think it's like 89 or something. Whatever. I AM HYPED UP ON SUGAR NARUTO! **How did you know I said that about you?** I read the last answer over for spelling mistakes and saw it. Retard. BUUUURNED! I kind of had to say that. My god you're white. And this time I don't just mean your freakishly pale complection. I mean your attitude. Oh and by the way, it's BUUUURN! Not BUUUURNED! Just do us all a favor and never do that again, okay?-hits me with a water bottle- Hey! -tackles Sasuke for being hitting me again-

**Okay, now I'm scared. Well I have heard Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny. It's a good song too. But I agree it is compleatly random. Oh and by the way, did that friend happen to be Neptune?** -gasp- How did you know? Maybe because you're retarted like that! -cues Sakura- _BUUUURN!_ Sakura's not white like you Sasuke. -smacks his forehead-

Well I had fun being an idiot. Oh guess what! I can't play guess who! Now my brother keeps bothering me to play because he knows he's gonna win because the yes or no questions confuse me. I have to keep asking someone what I'm supposed to knock down when I play that and I think I'm starting to annoy my mom when I play it too. Oh well. I should have the next chapter up by the end of the month! See ya!


	15. W,o censoring id have 2 change da rating

OMG FIFTEEN CHAPTERS!  
The name of the chapter is supposed to be: Without censoring I'd have to change the rating!

To all the Naruto girls: Are you ticklish? You can answer one at a time. Truthfully that was a random question.

Chouji: What would you do to Ino if she ever take the last bite of your food?

Kakashi: Have you ever use the thousand years of death on a girl and will you ever let your team read your book and see your face?

Tsuande and Sakura: Why do you use violence to solve a problem instead of talking it out peacefully so that there will be no causualties? And in case of an unexpected war none of your ninjas would be in the hospital.

Are all anime girls extremely violent? Seriously what's with all the violence for no reason at all? Can't we all just get along and be peaceful?

Jiraiya: Have any kids accidently read your book?

Lee: Will you give up on Sakura she had a big forehead and will never like you and is equally vain and temperamental as Ino? Find another girl who like you for who you are and doesn't think your a weirdo? Will you ever get rid of that green suit and put on some real clothes and get your eyebrows and hair cut?

Kin: How did you get your hair so long?

Tayuya: Why do you curse alot?

Naruto: Why do you wear a bright kill me suit? What does dattebayo means anyway? Why do you add chan to Sakura's name when he has no feelings toward you? Why don't you focus on the goal of being hokage instead of chasing Sasuke? Besides if Sasuke doesn't come back Sakura would probably be yours and if that doesn't work you can go to Hinata since she secretly likes you and would gladly trade Kiba to have you on her team? why do you let Sakura hit you when you could have gone kyuubi on her?

Orochimaru: Are you related to Michael Jackson?

Hinata: Why do you punk out when it comes to telling Naruto about your feelings? Why didn't you use the cage bird seal attack when Neji was beating you down and talking all that about you? Would you go back in time to make sure that Naruto ends up on your team? You look great with long hair. Were you trying to make youself look good for Naruto?

Ino: Why are you a vain and temperamental blond? Can I cut off the part of your hair that covers your right eye so that we won't think you lost your eye or have a lazy eye?

Shikamaru: Does the word troublesome run in your family? Will you ever stop being lazy and is your father that scared of your mom?

Shino: will you ever take your sunglasses off? What would you do to that person if he or she switched your soap and shampoo with but poison? What would you do to Naruto if he tells anyone that you sung and dance at the wedding in the laughing Shino arc?

Sasuke: Who would you rather be trapped in the closed with Karin, Orochimaru, Barney the dinosaur, or Naruto? choose one. For billions of dollars or yins, would you strip down naked with guitars and basses covering your parts and sing blink 182's what's my age again in front of all the yaoi fangirls and yaoi fanboys?

Kiba: Can I have your sister's phone number if I make you a clone of the konoha girls of your choice that will do anything for you?

Anko: Are you really a dominatriz with your boyfriend? Why do you like licking blood off people? Don't you know you can get HIV/AIDS or hepatitis b?

Neji: What's with the long hair? Will you ever lighten up on the fate drama?

Tenten: Would you ever wear a clown or mime suit or a chuck e cheese suit for money to buy more weapons? (Now that was just random). Who you would want to be married to Lee, Neji, or Gai? Did you notice that you get less screen time that the others (cough season 9 cough)?

Temari: What does Shikamaru do to make you like him? Since your a wind user, you can use your powers in the desert so ya'll don't have to pay for a new air conditioner.

Kankuro: Will you go out on a date with catwoman? Do you use your puppet to scare kids and old people on halloween?

Gaara: Your cool when you go tanuki on people. Do you have a girlfriend?

Ibiki: When you interrogate someone do you use tickle torture on the guys and girls so it would be less messy?

Well that's it for now.

--sco23

Dear sco23,

Since your question took up a bit more than a page, would you mind terribly if they didn't answer one at a time? I hope one.

Sakura, Hinata, Tenten, Ino, Karin- Yes. Sometimes.

Kin, Tayuya, Temari, Tsunade, Anko- No

Me: They probably really are but just too "tough" to really admit it.

Chouji: I would go berzerk and probably almost kill her until Shikamaru or Asuma-sensei stopped me. XO DON'T TOUCH MY FOOD!

Kakashi: Well I don't think I would use it on a girl unless I was just about to break up with her. Also I think I will make them wait on trying to see my face. They can try all they want. Hehe. Also, as far as I knew, I think Naruto started to read one of my books but he got bored and stopped. Guess he's just not ready yet.

Tsuande: I don't get how trying to talk things out will keep my ninja out of the hospital incase of an unexpected war. But I know violence isn't the way, it's just more fun. _Yeah, also, in some cases -cough NARUTO cough cough- you can't just talk to them, sometimes you have to punch their lights out to get them to really understand what you're saying._

Me:I think Tsunade said it very well, violence isn't the answer, it's just more fun! XD

Jiraiya: Probably. I have no control on who reads the books. I put my warnings on them saying that they aren't for kids but that alone may not stop them from reading them.

Lee: Never! I will never give up on my beloved Sakura! She is nothing like Ino! She is her own youthfull girl! I like my youthfull green jumpsuit. There is nothing wrong with my eyebrows and youthfull hair!

Kin: Two words, Ganie Frutice.

Tayuya: What the CENSOR do you CENSOR mean? I do not CENSOR curse that CENSOR much! CENSOR you and your CENSOR about my CENSOR life style. CENSOR CENSOR CENSOR to CENSOR CENSOR the CENSOR CENSOR CENSOR sideways... CENSOR!

**My orange suit does not say kill me! It says Naruto. -pout- Dattebayo is a noncensical frase that I say. It's like Deidara saying "un" or Itachi saying "foolish little brother" everytime he talks to Sasuke. Or neptune yelling skizzlez everytime she does something stupid beyond all belief.** That's supposed to be private Naruto.** Then can I say the other one?** Yes. **What about when she says Shizzle or Shizzle McBacon Feet.** Just so you people know, I got the bacon one from my friend.** I don't know, I guess it's force of habit calling her Sakura-chan.** You haven't done it much in this story. **KEWL! DATTEBAYO! I think if I could bring Sasuke, it would show atleast that I have potential to do something if I really want to and show the people that pick the hokage that I can be a good leader someday. :D Well if I don't bring Sasuke back then I lose my first best friend and he even said himself that we were friends. If we weren't, then why would he try to kill me to obtain the mongekyo? Hinata likes me? Okay. First I've heard of it.** No it's not. Like the second chapter someone asked you if you liked Hinata because she likes you and you were all studdering like her. **If I go kyuubi on Sakura it minimizes my chances of being Hokage.**

Orochimaru: What makes you say that? HEhe! (my friend gave me that idea)

Hinata: I-I don't k-know. He k-kind of m-makes me n-nervous. I-I don't think it's um n-nice to u-use that j-just because h-he insn't a um f-first brach H-Hyuuga. M-maybe. T-thank you f-for the um c-complement b-but I don't, I-I don't th-think I-I did i-i-it f-for um N-Naruto-kun. -blushes and passes out-

Me: OMG HINATA!

Ino: I AM NOT VAIN AND TEMPERAMENTAL! I would rather you didn't cut my hair. It's not always blocking my right eye.

Shikamaru: How am I supposed to know.God this is so troublesome. No I like my lazy self and have you seen my mother? If you did you would be scared too!

Shino: No. I would kill them slowly by chakra drainege. I would kill him just the same way.

I would rather be in a closet with Naruto because neptune could put ducktape over his mouth then he would leave me alone. Don't drag me into this. Too late. You're typing this so you're already involved. Dang. No I wouldn't. Not for all the money in the world because money won't help me kill Itachi and money won't help me rebuild my clan. I think it's weird because I recently just got obsessed with that song.

Kiba: I don't think she would be that thrilled with idea.

Anko: I don't know what you're talking about. -shifty eyes- It's fun and I don't care about that stuff. As a ninja I'm used to taking risks.

Neji: Because I was destined to have long hair. Refer to the last sentence and you will find your answer.

Tenten: I would wear a mime suit so that way I wouldn't have to talk to Lee or Gai-sensei about their youthfullness. Out of thoes three I would pick Neji because he would probably be eaiser on the nerves to deal with. I mean really, me and Gai-sensei? That's just creepy. Yes I know I have less screen time than the others. Thoes sexest writers don't care.

Temari: I don't know. Who told you I like him? I guess I could use my powers for that. Saves money and stuff.

Kankuro: No! What is it with you and neptune relating me with cats?

Me: Because your hat looks like cat ears... CATMAN!

Kankuro: Shut up! I haven't yet but thanks for the idea.

Me: Mental note, don't go to Kankuro's house for Halloween. Freaky puppets that can kill me bad.

Gaara: Thank you. -death glares at neptune for making him do this- No. I don't want one. Love is just fake.

Me: Daaa-yum!

Ibiki: NO! What are you CENSOR retarded? I'm a CENSOR ninja. I don't CENSOR tickel CENSOR people. Please.

Me: Someone's been hanging around Tayuya.

Naruto: I believe that the girl in the water fall was none other than Hinata. Just thought you should know.

Sasuke: Once you have settled you score with itachi you're going to rebuild your Clan. Do you have anyone in mind to do that with? don't you think that you should let her know so tha she can be well aware that you want er to be a baby machine?

Tenten: please describe Neji, Lee, Gui, Naruto, and Kakashi, each in only 3 word.

Sakura: Have you ever had any sake with Tsuande?

Shikamaru: why are women so dam troublesome?

Tsunade: have you ever thought of just seying yes to Jiraiya? He might stop asking if you just said yes once to his offer of a date.

Kakashi: Yes Rin is doing well. She has a huge shine to you show all the great things you done. (Rin: What did you tell him that for now he is going to think I'm some crazy fan girl.) So would you like to set up a time or place to beet up with Rin and reconnect?

Sakura: here a picture Rin thinks you will like. (a picture of 16 year old kakshi with his mask off.) She says you can keep it she has another copy.

Gaara: How much does you gourd of sand weigh? Is there any one in your life know that you have give up on the whole evil thing.

Tamari: what was it like to grow up with Gaara?

Naruto: I'm sending you a bowl of Ramon full of flavors we have over here they are different than you have there.

Neji: what is the big deal you and Tenten like each other you should shout it form the roof top she looks like a real catch to me.

Bomber68

**Dear Bonber68,**

**No CENSOR way!** I'm only like 13 I don't know if I have anyone in mind for that yet. Yes. Let the little gender confused cocatoo valley girl mature then ask it this question again. Run that by me again! I really don't feel like it.

Tenten: Neji: Destiny obsessed boring. Lee: Overactive Loud "Youthfull" Gai: An Adult Lee. Naruto: Determined loud LOUD! Kakashi: Mysterious clever copy-cat.

_No. I'm not old enough and I don't believe in what Lady Tsunade does. I don't think it's a good idea to drown oneself in sake._

Shikamaru: I don't even have a clue. Personally, it's too troublesome to try to figure it out to me.

Tsunade: I don't even want to think about what he would do if he ever went on a date with me. And let me tell you if he asks one more time, I'm gonna hurt him so hard that he won't remember his name!

Me: (I would say that or something involving my shoe)

Kakashi: Good. Well how about the memorial stone this Saturday at noon? I'll see you there.

_O.M.G. Thank you Rin!_

Gaara: One, you spelled my name wrong. It's Gaara. Not Garra. It weighs more than you think. My siblings know.

Tamari: Interesting.

Me: It's intersting living with my brother and my dad. It must be interesting living with me too! :D

**Cool. Thanx XD**

Neji: I'm not shouting it from the roof top. She may be a real catch but I'm not doing that.

Me: SO YOU LIKE HER! I knew it!

Neji: Stop twisting my words.

Me: But it's fuuuuuun!

OMFG! When I saw on my fanceh alert thingy that this fanfic was updated, I danced. Seriously, I did a little jig of joy!! No lie!  
XD

But if I left you alone, Sasusasunana-tan, the crazy monky gnome ninjas will get me! D:  
They're scary.

Oh yeah, speaking of ninjas, if you guys were in a fight with the pirates of One Piece, who'd you think would win? Honestly, i bet it'd be a tie. I mean they have shiny guns. :3  
Do I use too many smileys? D:  
I hope not, but my friend says I do. .  
Wow, Neptune you know your Spanish balls. : D  
But Rinday sounds awesome, how do you figure that stuff out? I wanna knowmy name i Japanese! .

QUESTIONANA: Have any of you ever lost a cellphone in the middle of a field? Because my friend did and we wanna find it before it rains. Apparently, she knows the general area of where it fell, but it's a very large area. /  
I think she's stupid, but in a good way. :3

Wellp, Adios for now Senore Rinday! : D

--Hillarious Tragedy

Dear Hillarious,

Where did that come from? Sasusasu... Hey! Don't make my type it again! It was hard enough to figure out the first time. It took you two and a half seconds to figure it out. SO?! Don't call me Sasusasunana-tan either! Say please! -sounds like Gir from Invader Zim- Fine. Please. Do the dance! What?! Sorry, I was in a Gir mode. NINJAS WOULD WIN BECAUSE THEY CAN RUN ON WATER AND HIND IN PLACES PIRATES CAN'T! TAKE THAT DRAGON OF VENUS! They may have shiny guns but we ninjas have shiny knives and skizzlez that you can't begin to comprehend. We ninjas? Shut up or I'll send the crazy monkey gnome ninjas after you. **Well I don't think you use too many smileys. :D :P :3 :7 -** That last one was mine. Evil thing. Somehow, I knew that was coming about the Spanish balls. Sakura, you haven't had time to speek during this question, so tell her where I got my Japanese name. _Uh okay. Well she used an online name translator. Currently the surver was hacked and their remaking the site._ Yeah, I think it was loveofanime dot com. :D We're ninja. We don't have cellphones. **But we do have communicator things that tie around our neck and goin in our ears.**_ Yeah and smart one over hear lost his during a mission right before he got seperated from the rest of us._ RIGHT THE SECOND MOVIE! Also I think you mixed Spanish with Italian with Japanese

Adios Hillarious Tragedy

Tune in next chapter to read the randomness that is the manga club I belong to! Really, some of those questions are pretty CONSOR weird.


	16. When Otakus Attack

Chapter 16 Woo-hoo! This is what I got when I asked the Manga Club that I'm in to give me some questions.

When Otakus Attack (P.S. That is also the name of a story by Dragon of Venus so if you've read it don't confuse the two :D)

Naruto,

Do you think the towers disgusting?

Love Jackie

**Dear Jackie,**

**I don't get it...** He I do. Explain please. DO THE DANCE! (another Gir moment) No Neptune. No dance. Just explain. Do the dance! **Well, uhh... Okay. Yes I think the tower's disgusting.**

To Kankuro:

What do you do with thoes puppetts?

-- :D

Dear :D

Kankuro: Uhh, I use them in battle. And in the last chapter I got the good idea to use them to scare little kids and old people during Halloween!

Me: I don't think thats what he ment.

Oro 3 3:

Do you have a big toe fetish?

--Bonnie

Dear Bonnie,

Orochimaru: What is that supposed to mean? I think big toes are usefull but I'm not obsessive over them.

Me: Unlike you and little boys. -runs away-

Orochimaru: What?

To Sasuke:

What iz ur webkinz account?!1

--cutie1994

Dear cutie1994,

What the hell is that supposed to mean? I think it means you're gay. -runs away- Get back here you little CENSOR! (I couldn't resist :D)

Kakashi:

do you even have a face?

--Bonnie

Dear Bonnie,

Kakashi: Yes for your information I do have a face but I just prefer to hide it. Except now Sakura has a picture of me without my mask when I was 16. XO

Orochimaru:

do u secretly like Kiko? I do.

-annoymous

Dear annoymous,

Orochimaru: Who is Kiko?

Me: I know Kiko. I think you'll like... her.

Orochimaru: Okay.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Orochimaru: What?

Me: Nothing. 0:D

Zabuza:

Yo, where'd u go CENSOR? Kiko misses u!

--Kiko

Dear Kiko,

Zabuza: I don't know you!

Me: Yes you do. You went out with her before you became a rouge ninja. :D

Zabuza: Really? Well for your information Kiko, I died. Move on.

Orochimaru: She has moved on!

Kimimaro:

Do you love me? DO YOU LOVE ME?

--Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Kimimaro: Uhhh. Who are you?

Me: You're so heartless!

Kimimaro: What?

Tayuya (or is it TA-YOO-ya?)

What's your reaction to the dub?

-- Dragon of Venus

Dear Dragon of Venus

Tayuya: They CENSOR mis-CENSOR-pronounced my CENSOR name! I can't CENSOR believe that they CENSOR censored me too! CENSOR all of them! CENSOR!

Naruto:

I hate the English dub. Don't you? Kiko hates it...

--Kiko

**Dear Kiko,**

**WHO THE censor ARE YOU! I'm okay with the English dub.** I like it because Yuri Lowenthal plays Sasuke! Was that a complement. CENSOR NO! I hate your character. I like your voice but I hate your character. :D

Granny Chiyo,

How CENSOR old are u?!

-- Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Granny Chiyo: I'm older than you.

Kiba,

You shouldn't be walking around with a dog, you should have a toaster.

--Willy

Dear Willy,

Kiba: What? Uh, Akamaru is helpful in battle and he's my little buddy. I'd never trade him for a toaster. Are you insane?

Me: It's Willy, do you have to ask?

Kiba: Is he related to you?

Me: Yes.

Kiba: Then I guess not.

Me: Hey!

Haku

What are you!?

-- Melissa 3

Dear Melissa 3

Haku: I'm a TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES! Just thought I should clear that up for everyone.

Naruto: Will you ever turn on Sasuke and kill him?

Jackie

**Dear Jackie,**

**No. I don't think I will. You see Jackie, Sasuke is one of my first friends and for that I am greatful. I don't think I will be killing one of my first friends any time soon.** Wow, you just sounded kind of smart. **I MADE IT MYSELF!** There went that theory.

Thanx guys for the questions! See ya for chapter 17!


	17. Sasuke needs a cat, mudkipz, she's back!

Hey Hey hey!

Guess what! **What?! **By birthday is the 30th! **Cool!** Yeah, big whoop. Can we got on with this so we can get it over with already?! Sorry I didn't realize it was your point of vounrability. Chapter 17! Omg!

Kurenai: Are you part Uchiha with your red eyes?

Girls: What would you do to me if I ordered Itachi against his own free will to put you in a genjutsu where you are tickled tortured for 144 hours.

Asuma and Jiraiya: Why did they have to kill you off why couldn't it be someone who's annoying like Gai or someone a lot of us won't miss on the show like Danzo and thoes old farts at the council.

Akatsuki: Do you ever have a birthday party in your organization?

Hidan: Is Tayuya your long lost daughter because you both curse alot?

Kin and Zaku: How did Orochimaru kill you?

Deidara and Ino: Are you related?

Sai: WHat do you do besides draw and make fun of Naruto?

Konohamaru: Who would you date Moegi or Hanabi?

Hinata: What would you do if Naruto actually saw you naked in that waterfall in the Bug arc? Could you also use your Byakugan to see throught people clothes like Neji probably does with Tenten and the other girls on the show?

-- sco23

Dear sco23,

Kurenai: I actually don't know.

Me: Let's just say that if I let them answer that question I would have to change the rating. :D

Jiraiya: I'm sorry I can't answer right now, I'm dead at the moment. Please leave your message after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as I come back. Thanks :D BEEP! (truthfully, I didn't know he died. I'm not that far into the series. D: I stink!)

Kisame: Normally Itachi would come to answer this question but he's got a hang over because he was so wasted last night at his birthday party. I guess that answers your question.

Hidan: Wouldn't you like to CENSOR know. -evil grin-

Kin: Wait... I died?

Zaku: Well duh you died. But I thought that bug freak killed me?

Ino: I'm not related to that thing! IT just stole my style!

Deidara: Now if that's not calling the pot calling the kettle black than I don't know what is!

Me: Let's move on before I have to change the rating okay?

Sai: I... Uhhhh... uhhhhh...

Me: Wow. You're like Candice from Phineas and Ferb. If I took away your paper and Naruto wasn't around you'd be nothing.

Konohamaru: ... I don't know. I'm just a kid. I'm not old enough to understand woman yet.

**Hehe. You never will be kid.**

Hinata: -passed out-

Neji: I do not look throught girl's clothes!

Sasuke!

Do u lyke mudkipz?!1!?1!?

-- I

Dear I,

What the heck is a mudkipz? And you actually have to hold down the shift button when you go to make an exclamation point.

:O

But what if I wanna call you Sasusasunana-tan?? Okay, fine. You said please. How about... Um... .;

I know, I'll get my friend to come up with something for you by the next time I review! :D

Mkay, I believe you. Ninjas win. Okay.

Hey, just wondering, can your ninja powers be taken away. So, you know, you can't use chakra or your fanceh tree hopping, like, ever again??

OMFG! WE COULD SO HAVE A SMILEY JAMBOREE!

:D :3 :O D: D: ;D ;) :) :( &: (Don't ask what the last one is...)

loveofanime dot come?? :D

I tried that in the thingy box. I dun think it works.

Wait, am I supposed to put a . in for dot? o.O

Oh...

XD

Spanish and italian is almost exactly the same.

Okay, I have to do something or I'll exlpode...

BREAKINGDAWNBREAKINGDAWNBREAKINGDAWNBREAKINGDAWNAUGUST2NDAUGUST2NDBREAKINGDAWNBREAKINGDAWNBREAKINGDAWN!

.

Mkay, I think that's it...

Buhbyez for now, everyones! :D

--Hillarious Tragedy

Dear Hillarious,

I can't win can I? No, you can't. So stop trying and accept it.** Ninjas all the way! I don't know if it can be taken away. All I know is that Neptune can't type today.** That's cuz it's almost midnight and I'm a spaz today. This day is different than any other day how? Touche. Oh and loveofanime is still down because someone hacked the site. They're remaking it so it won't work right now. D': **What's breaking dawn?** It's the fourth book in the twilight saga. I have redeemed myself!

I missed you!!

I was on a road trip with my family-- that's right, Sasusasunana-chan, (WTF? :D I like it.) I actually HAVE a family!

No real questions this time, mearly observances.

Sasuke, your brother is a good man. Go to w. onmanga. com and read the most recent chapters of your story-- you DO know you're imaginary, right? You may be happy. Or sad. Or DELIRIOUS! Either way, you are a freak in the future: an emotionless, lifeless, freak.

Maybe if you got a cat it would fix things...but no! The cat would eat you, because YOU LOOK SO MUCH LIKE A COCKATOO.

--Hyde n Psyc

Dear Hyde,

Why does everyone now feel the need to call me Sasusasunana-chan? Because it's fun Sasusasunana-chan.** Yeah it's fun Sasu-sumo-nama-chan!** Go back to sleep. **Okay!** Oh and that thing about the fact that you have a family, that was just mean! I don't care if he is a good man. I'm still gonna kill him and avenge my clan. Hey how near is that future you speak of persay?** I have a feeling that it is closer than we may have thought.** Same! **Poor Sasuke. He can't even get a cat. Tear tear.** _Naruto stop mocking Sasuke!_ But Sakura... It's fun to mock Sasusasunana-chan! **Yeah it's fun to mock Sasu-na-sa-na-numa-numa-chan!** -taps Naruto on the head- sleep. _Just stop mocking him. He is who he is. How would you like it if someone was mocking you because you're insane?_ I would thank them because that's how insane I am.

Dragon of venus: Really when someone tells her she's crazy or insane she says thanks and doesn't take affence at all.

Me: where did you come from?

Dragon: Felt like popping in. Okay bye.

Me: See ya! Oh and thank you for the part for me, but I am not a hero but the chapters may become less frequent come September because I have a lot of stuff between school, drama, and dance. But I will do my best to keep this random story with no plot (that's what makes it the funnest!) going for as long as I can. :D Good to know that you support my randomness!


	18. Sasuke's colors and Birthdays!

Haha! It's my birthday!

Hey everyone. Sorry I have been away I have been so very busy running all over the country doing missions and work.

Ok Kakashi I will try to set it up for Rin to come by the leaf to meet you one of the days coming up.

Sakura: have you been able to keep that picture on the down low or has Naruto managed to see it yet.

Naruto & Jiraiya: Did you two do anything interesting that might get Jiraiya hurt by Tsunade?

Sasuke: I have only heard of three girls in Orochimaru whole staff, was it nice to be away from all the fan girls?

Sakura: Wail Naruto and Sasuke were off away from the village did you let Rock Lee hand with you at all?

Shikamaru: I just have to ask Tamari or Ino?

Asuma & Kurenai: Why did you two try to keep your relationship secret for so long? Have you two thought up any name for your child?

Choji: Please tell us all what you think about Ino.

Ino: Could you tell us what you think about Choji. Do you have any feelings for him?

To anyone and everyone: Has anyone notice Naruto look kind of like the fourth Hokage?

Gaara: Did you ever make sand catstles at the beach as a kid?

Bomber68

**Dear Bomber68,**

**It's okay. I've had a lot of missions too. Hey did you hear about that weird mission I had with Ino and-** Yeah we don't care. ** :'(**

Kakashi: Okay! I can't wait to see Rin again!

_I've been trying, but somehow -glares at Naruto- a bunch of people found out about it and have been bugging me to let them see it._

Jiraiya: Nooooooooo. Why would you ask that? You make me sound like a bad influence on the little squirt. **Hey I'm not a little squirt Pervy Sage and you **

Jiraiya: -covers Naruto's mouth- **mmmrmrmrrmr!**

Well it feels good to not have that many girls fawning over me._ He kind of scares me so not that much. But every once in a while I guess you could say I hung around him._

Shikamaru: I'm not inclined to answer that question.

Me: You're just too CENSOR lazy to answer that question. (I love censorship)

Shikamaru: And your point is.

Me: ...I like your style.

Asuma: I don't know.

Kurenai: Because we felt like it? I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl. But if its a girl, I'm thinking of the name Mariko. (Some random name I just thought of)

Choji: She's stuck up kind of but she's a good friend I guess.

Ino: He could drop a couple of pounds but he's loyal. I like him as a friend. NOTHING MORE!

Most people of Konoha: No. Why should he?

Gaara: I didn't have time for childish things like that and I still don't have time for foolishness like this.

No, Sasusasunana-tan, you can't win. Because... CRAZY FANGIRLS ARE ALWAYS VICTORIOUS! :D

And I'm your crazy fangirl, therefore your stuck with me. :3

Oh yeah, So I found this fanfiction where you all go to hogwarts and there's Haku and foxes and Gaara and little Naru-chans and 'Tachi and Voldemort/Orochimaru and TONS of cuddly yaoi fluff!! NaruXSasu FOREVER! Whe!

Anyway, if you like yaoi pairings ask me what it's called and I'll give you the title. It's really good.

Good job, Neptune!! Yes, Breaking Dawn is the fourth book in the addicting Twilight series. :3 AND I HAVE IT! Hurray for freaky Eat-you-from-the-inside-out Pregnancies! :O

Sososo, I'm hyper. I have QUESTIONS! -Gasp-

Uno: So, Sakura... Have you ever wondered what Sasuke would be like in a yaoi fanfiction? :3 You should definetly researh it, I know you'll like what you find. Especially when he's with Naru-chan. OHOHOHOH! And look for pics of NaruSasu. They're amazing!!

--Hillarious Tragedy

Dear Hillarious,

I regret having any crazy fangirls like you read this story because now... I suck because I think you're turning me into a Sasuke fangirl! That's why. Now I have to deal with two of them and you makes three! And Neptune's absessed with Rent and she just got the OBC recording of it and she won't shut it off! I'm not a big yaoi fan so I'll skip on that story but thanks for telling me about it. I've been wanting to read Twilight but I don't want to buy it incase I don't like it. AND I CAN'T FIND IT IN LIBRARIES! Though I've only looked in one._ No I can't say I have wondered that. Why would I wonder about my dear Sasuke with another person. And of all people NARUTO?! Please like that will ever happen. Good to know though. Thanks._

Hey

EVERYBODY! SASUKE'S A FANDOM BICYCLE!

I learned a new term the other day! -isproud of self- Sasuke, you are, in fact, a Fancom Bicycle. come to think of it Naruto is, as well...but I don't care about Naruto! Despite the fact that the show is named after him! Or that he's the main character! OR that he gets ALL THE ANGSTY GLORY!! Sasuke is the one we pick on HERE. Naruto is left in the dust...

...ALWAYS.

But I digress. Sasuke, to be honest, it seems like EVERYBODY gets a chance to ride you, the designated Bicycle, at least once in every fan's fiction. Naruto does it, Shika does it, Choji, Kiba, Shino, even Kakashi-- even IRUKA!-- gets to ride you at some point or another.

That said, here's my question:

Where's you bell? Is it on your ear? Around you neck? Mixed in with your pretty feathers?

And what color are you painted?! Do you have pretty basket?!

(I bet he's painted rainbow colors, if you get my drift...-eyebrowwiggle- I know you do. :3)

--Hyde n Psyc

Dear Hyde,

I don't know what that fandom bicycle thing is but I'm not sure if I should have put it in considering the raiting... Whatever. Water under the bridge. Yes Naruto does get all the angsty glory. But it is more fun to pick on Sasuke. **Why am I in the dust...**

**...ALWAYS?**

What do you mean by bell? She means a bell that birds wear. My aunts evil paraot has one i think. But If he does it's in his cage and he rings it to annoy people once in a while. He sings with me too! Useless bit of info I had to splurt out. Okay. My bell is hidden and I'm not painted. I don't have a pretty basket because Neptune is too cheep and won't let me have one. No I don't catch your drift. -eyebrowwiggle anyway!-

Don't forget I updated on my birthday! Happy birthday to me!


	19. Follow up

HEY YALL! Some of you may know due to the post in my bio that I'm doing a follow up type story to Ask a Ninja. I just need to pick an anime.

Here is a list of the choices:

Ouran High School Host Club

Death Note

Zombie Loan

Fairy Tail

Bleach

Soul Eater

Code Geass

Fullmetal Alchemist (brotherhood)

DN Angel

Fruits Basket

Inuyasha

Kekkaishi

xxxHOLIC

Case Closed

R.O.D. (tv)

Please give me a review or PM of your choice and the top 5 characters they want in it.

Can't wait to hear what you guys picked for me =]


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